Important: this med was something I found for ASD sensitivities and is the med for autistic kids in Japan; there's just no data in adults.

The pharmacology got me excited for adhd treatment too. This wasn't pure self-experimentation.

I'm annoyed about this 'mania' throwing my credibility out the window. It wasn't mania; it was the drug working as intended and we didn't anticipate it because of ignorance.

Again this is probably an example of different processing; while everyone is doing the hard work of emotions, my brain has gone for the easy fruit of data. I'll get to the hard stuff later.

So MDMA was also a pharmaceutical made for depression. It was shelved because it was too 'up and down' - precisely what I'm trying to avoid with aripiprazole. Aripiprazole was shelved around the same time; maybe LSD, maybe many others. Anyway I'll use the word 'ascension phase', since that's the medical term, but anyone who has tried MDMA can tell you it has one hell of a come-up.

Aripiprazole has a 3-5 day ascension phase which is like MDMA-lite. MDMA is not about the ascension phase (it's quite unpleasant) but rather about the steady state afterward, which is where we are now. Our ascension was too rapid, is all, and a similar thing would have happened with too much of a stimulant. Good data. Titration necessary.

Incidentally this med is to prevent 'natural ascension'. My natural dopamine levels are insane when they go full songkran and this med will block some of it from getting to the receptors. Plus it will stop the redlining.

So two things happened:

1 - the med treated every single one of my software issues for adhd, as well as sensory issues for asd

2 - it caused euphoria during the ascension phase

This was not mania but I could feel it feeding into itself so desperately needed someone to check the science and prevent me from spiralling. Nobody could, because I think the science (of the meds) is right. So off we go, spiralling upward, but well aware and thinking clearly and trying to get people to 'snap me out of it'. But nobody can. Because facts.

This was a pharmaceutical coming into effect and binding to the receptors in my brain. It is a feature, not a bug, and evidence of efficacy. However a doctor would probably have seen it as an adverse effect and stopped the treatment, because of lack of clinical data in adults.

The waters are muddied on the personal front but on the data front they are seeming... fairly clear. We will need clinical trials for sure. But this feels like a long-term speedypill and speedypills are a great treatment option for adhd.

So let's see. I should have predicted this based on the pharmacology (binding to receptors) but data is mostly limited to children and non-verbal autistic folks so ... anyway I should have trusted my gut here instead of the medical literature.

Onward.

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