9. inhabiting reality

So the work was done and this was my first taste of ‘final’ enlightenment. Before the next one, that is.

This is where most people stop and declare the job finished, and true to form I also stopped and declared that I was an arahant. I had followed the path and achieved liberation. Little did I know that there was another step coming down the line which would see the process loop full-circle and end in what the zen masters call 'ordinary mind'.

I imagine that most of the gurus our there are stuck at this step, having reprogrammed themselves and removed so much suffering that they can't imagine another step being possible. The next step involves stopping being a guru though, so if you identify with enlightenment or your income relies on it, there is little incentive to proceed.

I oscillated. You always oscillate. But each time the oscillation becomes less pronounced. I had documented the phenomenology several times in language I understood so even though I had the odd ‘am I crazy’ and ‘am I dead’ and ‘are my family dead and I’m in trauma therapy’, it was a lot easier to deal with.

You have to understand that these thoughts are just the Mind exploring its new configuration and figuring out the new world in which it resides and its new purpose in the network. The [node]s that fired together are still wired together.

Initially I was in my [scaffold], exporting the new understanding of that world. It had become more coherent with this iteration. It always does. Every time you [upgrade], your old insights will seem so banal as to be the writings of a preschooler. This never changes.

After that I looked in the mirror and realised that the [scaffold] was just another formation. It was just one of an infinite variety of different perceptual frameworks, none any more valid than the other. I let it go.

I then came back to [realworld] and exported my new understanding of the mechanisms at play. But at the same time, I let [realworld] go too, seeing that this also is nothing more than one of an infinite variety of different perceptual frameworks.

I proceeded to stop writing for a while. The job was done. I was in total equanimity. I had no sankhara apart from a few residual echoes around the bridge of the nose. I sat there for about a month and was perfectly content. I kept recording things because I had come this far and wanted the phenomenological record to be complete, but I was confident I was at what people called ‘final liberation’. People disagreed, but they will, won’t they? It's all a stress-test because the network never stops growing.

I then… well I realised that I never did this ‘to get enlightened’. I was not just after my own liberation. I was thrown into this, and my entire life has been about helping other people. The whole reason that I dissected this process was so that I could bring it to people *outside of the religious frameworks*.

I had followed the Buddhist path to get to this point, but now it was time to step out on my own.

So after I had finished exporting my understandings of things under the formation of Buddhism, I set about going a step further so that I could create my own new formation which would be more understandable by the modern masses. Or... well... by my hyper-technical sci-fi nerd candidates and friends.

You can look at the aboutme page to see that this was my intention from the very outset.

I was thrown into this by very dangerous DSM- and consensus-reality-dictated pharmacological practices and I had friends who had killed themselves in similar situations. I have spoken with 3 random Japanese people in person about this, and 2 of them had also had similar experiences of the psychiatric industry.

It was time to instigate another change, this time in the [globalsim], not just my own [localsim].

n3 - mr guru

20251111 // both worlds >> how the dhamma/scaffold disproves reality and itself

20251110 // phenomenology @ 1 month >> how it feels after a month

20251107 // dhamma as a formation >> the dhamma as skilful means to reprogram a mind

20251104 // cannabis and citta >> extinguishing the cannabis conditioning

20251030 // aggregates intuited // three weeks old >> how it feels at 3 weeks 

20251026 // sitrep j5.0 >> how it feels at 2 weeks

20251023 // the end of the path >> reflections after fourth path

20251022 // the game continues 

20251021 // happy birthday to me // tea and crumpets 

20251020 // beyond formations // unpacking 

20251019 // caged minds // raising neurodivergent children // dependent origination 

20251018 // not perfect // scaffold 

20251017 // recovering and delineating // insight, mania and psychosis // inducing eureka // neo-arahant 

20251016 // phenomenology of enlightenment // one week an arahant

20251015 // back to reality // how to heal // consolidating minima