First off: thank god for my drug use history or things could have gotten dangerous. The med will have been shelved because of what I think is pharmacologically expected.
Anyway two things:
1 - drug ‘come up’ as it binds to receptors
2 - the high, but also delayed processing and the treatment of ADHD and ASD symptoms
So… muddy waters.
Basically I think this drug was tested 45 years ago and they saw people go a bit mad for a week and thought ‘kids and non verbals can be restrained’ so took the easy route. I think it could be managed with sensible dosing. The fact I essentially double dropped… well…
Anyway this is a powerful drug. It cranked my dopamine and serotonin up, and the acceleration phase for the first 3 days was near identical to coming up from a ‘speedy’ pill. Now that sounds bad, until you remember that ADHD meds are speed and pills are great but aaaaanyway.
At the same time it’s freeing up my sensory blahs I’ll get a word for that fucking sensitivies my ass. Anyway it’s making the world and my brain quiet. So it’s having the real desired effect too.
And then it frees up a lifetime of delayed processing from vipassana meditation, all these projects and achievements, etc. All this floods me because of the lower sensory input.
So… it was all expected, in hindsight.
1 - the medicine is working on all my ADHD and ASD issues
2 - not quite as much as when I initially double-dropped and became Elon for a week
Seriously I felt like I could have started a cult if I wanted to. But I hate management. The insights were just… thick and fast. And a lot of them were valid; how my autistic traits play out.
So it was an enlightenment in a way, but it was chemically explainable. Euphoria from the med, a lifetime of delayed processing, and relief from ADHD symptoms.
Fucking intense though and this would need serious management. Again though - titration could fix it.
Thank fuck I double dropped ecstasy on my 16th birthday. Everything for a reason James.
202506100730