Let’s drop the mania questioning. Business is always group mania. It’s whether it’s rooted in reality and useful or not. This is rooted in reality and useful, and not mania.
But mapping out these states is what I want. A quantifiable level of dopamine in the PFC produces X in subject B. Enough data and you can simulate, then train, and then predict, and tailor. It’s autonomous driving for meds.
… and I forgot what I came out here to write. Still with the adhd. But it’s such a glorious morning and now the cacophony in my head is suppressed, I think I’ll practice this ‘potter’ skill I have picked up…
Ah yes.
Mara. Today’s words. Well timed as always, b-man. Mara is… friction, obstacle, doubt.
Be careful not to run too far to the god hypothesis James. You don’t have cofounders yet and it’s just an idea. It will probably happen, but there is no rush; these things grow naturally when they are going to last the long term.
This is where impostor syndrome comes from. Mara caused by craving caused by dopamine, and dysregulated in the adhd brain. We get more impostor syndrome, more self doubt, and more ‘friction’ in general. When I started ari, one of the main things I noticed was just sheer… silken thoughts and buttered joints. This is after guanfacine had already taken me from angry hornets to horny bees. The noise in my head…
And the relief I feel now. But that’s not the point.
I don’t know how to word this. I became? We become? We, I think, because we are probably all the same. Just my world was scarier. Training data.
We become more attached to things because dopamine dysregulation results in flash panics (rsd) about losing anything we love; not just people. Bank account is easy example, but how about memories? Thoughts? Do we become more attached to a mental construct we have of a loved one? I don’t know, but it seems plausible.
“7. Just as a storm throws down a weak tree, so does Mara overpower the man who lives for the pursuit of pleasures, who is uncontrolled in his senses, immoderate in eating, indolent, and dissipated.”
You started looking at the mountain, James; that’s what happened. You started looking at the mountain, your dopamine latched on, and you suddenly felt inadequate. This is impostor syndrome.
You helped build Japan’s top global AI company and multiple startups before that. You know all the people. You’ve seen so many mistakes. You’re qualified. Zuck was just a schoolkid.
But you never look at the mountain. You turn your phone black and white. You ignore the advertising and the flashy colours. Because they break your brain. They snatch one of the wires from the wool and yank it off to the side and the churn can’t proceed as planned and the results are garbled.
Not so much any more. But you have a clear slate and finally the mental capacity to build that brain you wanted all along. Just remember that this is the real goal. The true liberation of self. Not nirvana; I love my family too much to pursue that again. But something approaching peace can now be achieved. That is the priority. Not anything material. Not even saving the world.
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