I'm pretty annoyed about this 'mania' throwing my credibility out the window. It wasn't mania; it was the drug working as intended and we didn't anticipate it because of ignorance.
Again this is probably an example of different processing; while everyone is doing the hard work of emotions, my brain has gone for the easy fruit of data. I'll get to the hard stuff later.
So MDMA was also a pharmaceutical made for depression. It was shelved because it was too 'up and down' - precisely what I'm trying to avoid with aripiprazole. Anyway I'll use the word 'ascension phase', since that's the medical term, but anyone who has tried MDMA can tell you it has one hell of a come-up.
So yeah aripiprazole has a 3-5 day ascension phase which is like MDMA-lite. Remember that MDMA is not about the ascension phase (it's quite unpleasant) but rather about the steady state afterward, which is where we are now. Our ascension was too rapid, is all. Good data. Titration necessary.
Incidentally this med is to prevent ascension. My natural dopamine levels are insane when they go full songkran and this med will block some of it from getting to the receptors. Plus stop the redlining.
So. Two things happened:
1 - the med treated every single one of my software issues for adhd, as well as sensory and processing issues for asd
2 - it caused euphoria and hypermotivation during the ascension phase
This was not mania or hypomania but I could feel it feeding into itself so desperately needed someone to check the science and prevent me from spiralling. Nobody could, because I think the science (of the meds) is right. So off we go, spiralling upward, but well aware and thinking clearly and trying to get people to 'snap me out of it'. But nobody can. Because facts.
This was not mania. It was an ascension phase from a pharmaceutical. It is a feature, not a bug.
The waters are muddied on the personal front but on the data front they are seeming... fairly clear.
We will need clinical trials for sure. But this feels like a long-term speedypill and speedypills are a great treatment option for adhd.
So let's see. Should have predicted this based on the pharmacology (binding to receptors) but data is mostly limited to children and non-verbal autistic folks so ... anyway I should have trusted my druggie gut here instead of the medical literature.
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