So one of the quirks of my brain is that it hates loose ends. Absolutely hates them. Can’t abide them. It’s better now I am medicated but still… everything has to have a clear purpose and be optimised toward that purpose, apparently.
What are we talking about? Get to the point!
Where are we going and what is the most efficient route?
All the fucking time. What’s the best way to fill your day so you don’t have to sit still for even a second. Completely exhaust yourself and say ‘job done’; check everything off and all the boxes ticked so you can go to bed and start again tomorrow.
Then the purpose of it all is death of course. You are just working and doing all these things so you can get all your ducks in a row and say ‘jobs good’ and then die. That’s the whole purpose, really, isn’t it?
So this is where I end up. My thought process is one of extremes, I think because of how my brain formed. In order to get to D it has to go all the way to Z and back.
So yeah. That sucked. I still have it, of course, and hedonic adaptation will come into play and everything will have to be optimised again. But maybe not quite to the same degree. Hopefully not. Because the steel wool… the whole point of this website is to try to unravel it.
… a filtered reality, around itself curled.
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