There’s the programming of a persona, sure, but I also intentionally reprogrammed my narrative around events so I could keep going.
There’s positive change to be instigated through most painful situations. Easy examples would be finding this dead body and looking into mental health, or getting ‘kicked out’ of England then turning it into our decision and owning it. The narrative is everything.
Seligman’s learned optimism and William James’ ownership of life
Anyway you can take most things and over the course of a few weeks or months you can reprogram them into something more agreeable to your psyche. Touch and go, fast and sharp, when you’re motivated. If you don’t do this intentionally then your mind will do it for you.
Dopamine is responsible for encoding preferences; positive or negative. It’s also used for encoding memories and emotions. When I took aripiprazole and was ‘high’ for a week I was telling my family that my psyche was very receptive and to try to put good stuff in there. I was also pretty obnoxious about it - oops - but the dopamine was high so I was right.
The fluctuation in dopamine in the adhd brain likely results in differences on this front; I know I can reprogram myself a lot easier than anybody else I know. But that’s probably because of a lifetime of practice.
CBT does not work for me. Not the same way, anyway. And talk therapy is/was pretty useless because of the decoupling of emotions. But I think that this is a kind of macro-CBT. Looking back, I riding my bike or something and just be like ‘yeah let’s do this’ while firing myself up for… nothing.
Apart from a reprogramming. And that reprogramming is everything. And the firing up is how you get the code really deep into your mind. Dopamine is CRISPR for your memories.
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