Here we are again at the end of a creative dash, looking up and realising I’ve crossed the finish line and it was all planned from the outset. Somehow I have a new art piece that is about the damage caused by the conflict of asd and adhd, on the very day that I look up and the website (first release) is done.
It always works this way, and you can see how it would be hard not to believe in some divine force. In all likelihood my brain just planned backward from an arbitrary deadline and off I went, none the wiser. But most would see god. Or fate. And I have over the years. And the scientist has gone ‘no James that is illogical’ and I’ve felt chastised.
Today I signed to buy a new house and the guy we are buying off is 80 years old and near fluent in English having sold wood to the US for his whole life; not a normal thing. One of my ex-colleagues’ partner just happens to be a medical doctor who moved into drug research and marketing; not normal. The convergence of events is sometimes hard to logic-away even for me. There is no possible way that the brain could have arranged these things.
So that leaves fate, coincidence, or some kind of simulation run by a god-like being. But if I look into the new idea of free will…
So we have no free will but we stack the odds in our favour. Would that mean that we have both fate and coincidence? We have the fate in that the asd stacked the odds, and the coincidence in that the adhd played ball.
So we prayed to god - stacked the odds - and then our darker urges just happened to be in a good phase, our plan went well, and we saw god. Or fate. Or 無心. Maybe this is why 無心 is so powerful - the empty mind - maybe this is ‘channelling’ as I call it - where you tap into your pattern-matching handler directly and bypass the tiger.
Anyway I got a bit bored of the audhd stuff. It was getting dry. And it’s just a framework anyway. The boat is just to get to the other side of the river, and an understanding of my life from a spiritual standpoint is the goal. The boat isn’t perfect but it’s good enough. So time to set off, maybe shore up on and island along the way to spruce up the boat with new knowledge, and then on to the other side.
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