baton

So I have come to think of human emotions as being handled by a kind of baton-pass between the neuronal and hormonal systems; the asd and adhd. Speculation of course.

Let’s say a large life event happens. Adhd is responsible for the scatterbraining to make sense of the situation, and asd is responsible for the reining in and integration of that answer. It’s like REM sleep hypothesising and NREM sleep pruning.

Large event:

Emotion - ARGH

Logic - hold yourself together

Emotion - Argh

Logic - how can we fix this

Emotion - argh?

Initially I think the cycle is very fast, big flips, and then over time it smooths out, gets slower, longer more considered processing.

For me, because of short memory and dopaminolio as I’d like to call it, I tend to forget the event and get stuck on the solution. I don’t know if this is inferior to the neurotypical approach; from a purely pragmatic standpoint I think not. But from a societal standpoint, autistic.

Because of the dodgy dopamine signalling, my baton pass is bad. Just like any other kind of task switching. Or switching mental states at all. Brain limitation. 

Going to sleep. Waking up. Stopping being angry. These are all things that have been improved by a single pill.

I am now able to process emotions more like a normal human being and have them leave my body. Previously it was like getting blood from a stone, sat there art-therapising myself and staring into the dark places for hours on end. Now I just rub a knife and stare at the ocean.

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