sense

The interplay between asd and adhd made for a very sensitive person who also craved stimulation. It meant that I spent my life putting myself in ever-more dangerous and exciting situations, turning the volume up, and having commensurately-growing periods of burnout.

My senses themselves seem amped up, though I had no idea. My red wasn't your red after all. I am sensitive to deep noises; they are both my muse and my nemesis. A transformer down the road or a boat in the harbour will be inaudible to others but will keep me awake all night. At the same time, a good bassline on max volume will erase most woes.

Other interesting ones are steel wool and fishhooks. Steel wool is the sense of memory overload; when everything's just jamming up and the pressure is building in your skull and you have to export to somewhere. Fishhooks are the really strong motivation I feel at times; far more than just a magnetic pull.

Sleep was also very difficult, partly because of sensory issues. Just can't get comfortable, tossing and turning, clammy, hot, cold.

Many of these have been fixed by aripiprazole thanks to better sensory gating. I can still hear things, but they don't dominate my awareness like they used to.

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