time

Since starting aripiprazole it’s become obvious that I had time blindness but had managed it away, and that’s resulted in a kind of reverse-blindness now.

Because of regular dopamine signalling throughout the night, my mind is getting its prerequisite number of ticks in 5 hours instead of 8. I have also cut out all the tossing and turning I used to endure after nighttime awakenings.

All of this means that I am spending about two hours less in bed that would not have been asleep, and 1 hour less that would have been asleep. It’s not a big change, and the sleep quality is so much better for dopamine stability. I am more rested now than I was previously.

During the day I don’t intuitively know if it’s morning or evening; whether we’ve eaten or are waiting to. A quick scan and I know, but intuitively I don’t.

Emotional salience is higher too so it will be interesting to see how that affects the perfection of time as viewed through memory, which is often the opposite of how it’s experienced in the moment.

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PS. I love my two boys so much I can't describe.