trauma

All those years looking for childhood trauma and there was none. It was dopamine dysregulation.

I mean I had a few fights (I won) and an alcoholic father (he was loving and stopped drink), but there were no identifiable big-T trauma events. The body was keeping the score on something, but it wasn’t what was written on the tin.

A few ‘is this trauma’ things which were actually audhd, along with an explanation

• Intrusive thoughts Adhd endocrine randomness

• Hyper vigilance Adhd and asd heightened adrenal response 

• Numbness / detachment / dissociation Asd shutdown

• Missing childhood memories Dopamine time signalling issues

• Addictions Dopamine

• Difficulty concentrating Adhd burnout

• Isolation Asd burnout

• Sleep disturbances Life

• Loss of interest Adhd burnout

• Chronic tension Asd masking exhaustion

• Identity fragmentation / unstable self-image Adhd time signalling and salience issues

• Chronic dysregulation Adhd

This is just off the top of my head, but asd combined with adhd can present as trauma, depression and bipolar disorder almost to a tee. I was misdiagnosed bipolar and half the psychiatrists out there would still think I am bipolar based on my active phases; but these active phases are my norm.

Anyway there was no big-T trauma. It was all just a lifetime of undiagnosed audhd.

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