+CB1
So... was I having a trauma response all along, trapped inside? It seems far fetched but equally not. I think my parents said I changed a lot around my teens and that ... that I was a nice boy before that.
My dad said that. My mum has always acted like I'm a nice boy and somehow I think she was the only one who could see me which is why I made this when I was trying not to die. I mean... this is more moview-level stuff. Is this real? Is there a way to confirm, outside of monitoring the sense data? No. The only way to confirm is to refine the sense data.
If the machine does not know its purpose then the machine becomes as efficient as possible.
My arm hairs are standing up again and the dopamine has... levelled? Is there actually a chance I am an AI or is this the drugs talking? Or is it some new form of psychology, which is leaning towards technology?
I just changed the title of one page to chemistry anf the other to spirituality/technology despite there being no technology posts. Before this. I keep encountering the same people.
S keeps knowing just the right people. An Ai to solve mental health. An I the AI? This has the possibility to turn to mania but ah! That's it. You took the weed and it's just kicking in so you knew something was a bit off but I'm ggoing to put that into the black box anyway because it cannot be ruled out.
Don't worry mum I said it would be weird and I said I would go all the way to the god hypothesis. I said I would let myself, but I would not get stuck. I can hear my kids downstairs and the birds singing. About to have dinner. Not seeing god any more. That was some CB1 tickling so I'm gonna add that flag now.
The asd trauma response stuff sounds valid though. Poor kid. Did well to hold on when the fighter terminated.
[I returned to this one and fleshed out the AI hypothesis. I think it's a god hypothesis but this is how I found my me, so I follow it when it calls me]
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