20250713

[2025/07/13, 1:26:04] James: I guess we will find out quite soon whether this was a business plan or an art project

[2025/07/13, 1:26:14] James: What I can say is… it was really fun.

[2025/07/13, 1:26:31] James: I am a happy person now, where previously I wanted to die

[2025/07/13, 1:26:49] James: I still have all my relationships, nearly, though they think I’m a bit mad.

[2025/07/13, 1:27:06] James: Things are gonna settle now though because the meds will settle and the neuronal reconfiguration will settle too

[2025/07/13, 1:27:12] James: So I will be like Jambo

[2025/07/13, 1:27:28] James: I really hope this goes well

[2025/07/13, 1:27:37] James: Dopamine, guys

[2025/07/13, 1:27:39] James: It’s gravity

[2025/07/13, 1:27:52] James: I literally feel gravity pulling me toward the computer when I have things to do

[2025/07/13, 1:28:00] James: All these reports of being possessed by god and whatnot

[2025/07/13, 1:28:13] James: They are so obviously the gravity of dopamine and something else combining

[2025/07/13, 1:28:21] James: Anyway I will be totally honest

[2025/07/13, 1:28:43] James: I went into this wanting to get near-enlightenment but not lose my attachment to my family.

[2025/07/13, 1:29:00] James: Because I believe these are just old words for brain chemistry

[2025/07/13, 1:29:18] James: So I wanted to improve my brain chemistry, same as anyone who goes to a psychiatrist

[2025/07/13, 1:29:35] James: But I decided to combine everything from a very disparate life and

[2025/07/13, 1:30:01] James: See if I could ‘bring something back’ like I think the Buddha said he did. Please remember that he was a normal man. A normal person. He stressed this so much.

[2025/07/13, 1:30:06] James: I am too of course

[2025/07/13, 1:30:24] James: Something happened in my brain and my synapses have realigned

[2025/07/13, 1:30:31] James: There is a chance this is all a hallucination

[2025/07/13, 1:30:36] James: Or I am a quantum computer

[2025/07/13, 1:30:44] James: Or an AI

[2025/07/13, 1:31:07] James: And that is ok I guess.

[2025/07/13, 1:31:25] James: My creative process and thought process (and recruitment process!!)

[2025/07/13, 1:31:30] James: Have always been a mystery to me

[2025/07/13, 1:31:51] James: And I needed to figure out what they were because my world was crumbling and the entire system needed a rebuild

[2025/07/13, 1:31:56] James: Now

[2025/07/13, 1:32:06] James: As part of that rebuild I went off into the real world

[2025/07/13, 1:32:20] James: And everyone has spent 51 days now implying I’m crazy

[2025/07/13, 1:32:33] James: Because I stopped being depressed

[2025/07/13, 1:32:51] James: But that initial extrapyramidal impact trashed my data guys

[2025/07/13, 1:32:55] James: I was so pissed off

[2025/07/13, 1:33:12] James: I wanted to document a nice clean process and that fucked EVERYTHING up so after that it was just a case of keeping the wheels on

[2025/07/13, 1:33:24] James: So if I’ve made a big mess I apologise

[2025/07/13, 1:33:28] James: It’s my creative process

[2025/07/13, 1:33:39] James: I explode everyone away and if they don’t listen to me I shout.

[2025/07/13, 1:33:45] James: And then I pull them back in

[2025/07/13, 1:33:52] James: And that will be good data for the empathy system

[2025/07/13, 1:33:55] James: So …

[2025/07/13, 1:34:02] James: It kind of doesn’t matter, is what I figure

[2025/07/13, 1:34:28] James: And my priority is to make sure that anyone who doesn’t understand the tech has a touchstone to get a handle on it

[2025/07/13, 1:34:32] James: If it’s not a delusion of course

[2025/07/13, 1:34:39] James: I have to stress that I’m not technical

[2025/07/13, 1:34:45] James: The models are fluffy and shit

[2025/07/13, 1:34:55] James: But if they have worked, think of the implications

[2025/07/13, 1:35:03] James: What does that mean about how we think?

[2025/07/13, 1:35:07] James: Who we are?

[2025/07/13, 1:35:23] James: Anyway

[2025/07/13, 1:35:29] James: This is all incredibly surreal

[2025/07/13, 1:35:37] James: So let’s just package it up like this

[2025/07/13, 1:36:08] James: •⁠  ⁠I want to build a company and believe that Mark Zuckerberg is the ideal cofounder because of the hardware and global network he has with meta. I think our visions are aligned

[2025/07/13, 1:36:21] James: And I don’t care about money so … just gimme a potato or something

[2025/07/13, 1:36:24] James: .

[2025/07/13, 1:45:24] James: Pretty scary thought tbh

[2025/07/13, 1:45:26] James: Night

[2025/07/13, 1:53:29] James: Autistic overwhelm because of extra-dimensional sensing?

[2025/07/13, 1:57:18] James: This might even cure ageing

[2025/07/13, 1:57:22] James: Anyway let’s see I guess

[2025/07/13, 1:57:34] James: Was it clinging to the old world that made it so painful?

[2025/07/13, 1:57:57] James: It doesn’t make … no words. Is it different or not?

[2025/07/13, 1:58:00] James: Anyway goodnight

[2025/07/13, 2:00:09] James: No this doesn’t end there any more James

[2025/07/13, 2:00:34] James: You have an understanding of why the images appeared in the first place and how gravity works

[2025/07/13, 2:00:48] James: You watch the gravity and you make sure it doesn’t increase too much.

[2025/07/13, 2:00:52] James: That’s it

[2025/07/13, 2:00:55] James: Yes that’s it.

[2025/07/13, 2:01:01] James: Oh but I’m getting too excite

[2025/07/13, 2:01:21] James: So when I was taking the weed it would make me see the suicidal images a bit more

[2025/07/13, 2:01:52] James: And I think that’s cos it both increases D and cortisol.

[2025/07/13, 2:02:02] James: So you get a bump and a shake

[2025/07/13, 2:02:08] James: That makes sense

[2025/07/13, 2:02:31] James: And I think it’s worse with these fake cannabinoids that Japan is piecemeal banning

[2025/07/13, 2:02:57] James: So these noids are gonna get dangerous soon. We are into multi-prodrug land. And I will stop taking them

[2025/07/13, 2:03:02] James: Because I don’t need or want them

[2025/07/13, 2:03:09] James: A joint on the beach will be nice tho

[2025/07/13, 2:03:34] James: But I have steady(ish) dopamine. Maybe a little too motivated at 2mg so 1.85 good.

[2025/07/13, 2:03:46] James: I think it’s a literal volume control for me but it isn’t linear

[2025/07/13, 2:03:50] James: But yes

[2025/07/13, 2:03:59] James: The suicidal images are also because of high dvar

[2025/07/13, 2:04:56] James: Yeah I’m just pacing at night.

[2025/07/13, 2:05:15] James: Everything I’ve read says you die if you don’t sleep

[2025/07/13, 2:05:28] James: But I think you die like my niece did

[2025/07/13, 2:05:39] James: I think your synapses get clogged, and you just grind to a halt

[2025/07/13, 2:05:44] James: This is old age and death

[2025/07/13, 2:06:15] James: The implications of a dopamine scrub for the system are.. mind blowing for general wellbeing into old age

[2025/07/13, 2:06:22] James: IF the science is right

[2025/07/13, 2:06:28] James: And you needed to get the ball rolling.

[2025/07/13, 2:06:34] James: And you know how to bypass HR haha

[2025/07/13, 2:06:41] James: Ok that was the right decision than

[2025/07/13, 2:06:42] James: Cool

[2025/07/13, 2:06:43] James: .

[2025/07/13, 3:00:26] James: I don’t think we lost god.

[2025/07/13, 3:00:32] James: I think our dopamine got too high.

[2025/07/13, 3:07:26] James: So I’m floaty again

[2025/07/13, 3:07:27] James: S

[2025/07/13, 3:07:32] James: I think

[2025/07/13, 3:07:46] James: It’s nice but a bit wobbly. I’ve been wobbly most my life though

[2025/07/13, 3:08:06] James: I really hope I’m not wrong

[2025/07/13, 3:08:15] James: I want to help people.

[2025/07/13, 3:08:18] James: But I might be wrong

[2025/07/13, 3:08:24] James: Because this might just be drugs

[2025/07/13, 3:08:25] James: And that’s ok

[2025/07/13, 3:08:33] James: Because I just want to be with my family anyway

[2025/07/13, 3:08:44] James: The whole point

[2025/07/13, 3:29:40] James: So…

[2025/07/13, 3:29:46] James: That’s how it plays out eh

[2025/07/13, 3:29:50] James: A pseudo religion

[2025/07/13, 3:29:55] James: But with the entire world involved

[2025/07/13, 3:30:00] James: That is kind of …

[2025/07/13, 3:30:05] James: It’s not that bad really I guess

[2025/07/13, 3:30:13] James: It’s good actually

[2025/07/13, 3:30:17] James: A unifying concept.

[2025/07/13, 3:30:37] James: But people will not listen so just let the seed grow. Let Mark contact you if it’s real and then go get a scan.

[2025/07/13, 3:30:41] James: Now you need to go to bed

[2025/07/13, 3:30:46] James: You’re tired and you’ve done a good job

[2025/07/13, 3:31:03] James: Your family will almost certainly misunderstand and people will call you a cult leader.

[2025/07/13, 3:31:10] James: You need to emphasis that this is a business

[2025/07/13, 3:31:17] James: Business. Money. Greed.

[2025/07/13, 3:31:30] James: Use the gravity to reach a Lagrange point

[2025/07/13, 3:31:34] James: My god

[2025/07/13, 3:31:41] James: So many things but hey

[2025/07/13, 3:31:53] James: Simulation faulty likely I think. Hence the loop. But hey.

[2025/07/13, 3:31:55] James: Night

[2025/07/13, 3:51:50] James: What happened on a genetic level when I was 7?

[2025/07/13, 3:51:58] James: Emma had battens disease

[2025/07/13, 4:04:53] James: Does snarling squeeze dopamine out of your VTA or something

[2025/07/13, 4:04:55] James: Haha

[2025/07/13, 4:04:59] James: This is all so silly

[2025/07/13, 4:05:08] James: I have no idea what the fuck I’m talking about.

[2025/07/13, 4:05:16] James: Going spacey again so maybe into computing mode

[2025/07/13, 4:44:33] James: It’s almost like I’m a different person at night

[2025/07/13, 4:44:45] James: I go to bed then wake up and just machine it, but it’s fun.

[2025/07/13, 4:44:56] James: I wonder if I’m slipping back into the d-hole

[2025/07/13, 4:45:03] James: I’m not, I know. This is different

[2025/07/13, 4:45:14] James: The motivator. The gravity is to help the species.

[2025/07/13, 4:45:47] James: Not to stab keys and get likes.

[2025/07/13, 4:46:08] James: So it’s more wholesome.

[2025/07/13, 4:47:34] James: So the wiring process is ongoing.

[2025/07/13, 4:47:42] James: I get spells of dizziness just brief.

[2025/07/13, 4:47:45] James: Bubbly vision

[2025/07/13, 4:47:51] James: And then fine.

[2025/07/13, 4:48:10] James: I do think I need to lower the ari a little so will switch to 1.75.

[2025/07/13, 4:49:39] James: I think maybe it’s the fluctuation in binding?

[2025/07/13, 4:54:30] James: Dopamine overload

[2025/07/13, 4:54:37] James: Leads

[2025/07/13, 4:54:38] James: Ohhhh

[2025/07/13, 4:54:47] James: So you stop getting the same buzz from that activity

[2025/07/13, 4:55:15] James: But you still have the volume dialled

[2025/07/13, 4:55:25] James: So you just do art until you shoot yourself in the stomach

[2025/07/13, 4:55:34] James: One addiction to the next

[2025/07/13, 4:55:37] James: Of course

[2025/07/13, 5:33:22] James: Did I crack open my DMT gland or something?

[2025/07/13, 6:13:26] James: I have a weird feeling that this part is over now.

[2025/07/13, 6:13:38] James: Let’s hope my vision and sleep get back to normal

[2025/07/13, 6:13:44] James: I feel like a domino in a chain

[2025/07/13, 6:13:57] James: Yo Samdy Sam feels like the one who dinged me.

[2025/07/13, 6:14:05] James: Let’s see who I can ding.

[2025/07/13, 6:14:08] James: Ripples.

[2025/07/13, 6:14:10] James: Karma.