88 hells

analysis = audhd // preparation = 88 hells // dissolution = alteredstates // decompression = technospirituality 

see cartography for how this tracks to the map of buddhist insight

This is the phase after my brief chemical enlightenment where I curated the parts of my psyche that had caused suffering over my life and lined them up to be purged. Aripiprazole held me in a hyperdopaminergic state but during this phase I was also flipping between withdrawal and come-up, so it was akin to a meditator of 30 years being placed in the mind of a junkie.

Prior to this I had assessed the system architecture of my brain and found out its limitations, and set my own philosophical framework so I had a touchstone for the proceedings. This is where I disassembled my 'self' to identify the root cause of all suffering, and I continued the process of deduction to arrive at the conclusion that phasic dopamine (dvar / dopamine variability) is the fundamental particle that drives all suffering in our lives. This is the craving the buddha talked about.

After that, my ego exploded and I was ... something else for 4 days. I came back to earth, but it is a different planet, impossible to describe. My old life feels like a dream, with all the suffering being a product of my imagination.

Hell is a tunnel, not a hole.

groundwork: morality // agency // efficacy // metacognition // self // type // boundary // select // visit // meet 

publish: james // dante // debrief // compiled // 20250707 // 20250706 <<== top-down thinkers start here

process: raw1 // raw2 // raw3 // raw4 // raw5 // raw6 // raw7 // raw8 // raw9

pipeline: raw12 // raw13 // raw14 // raw15

prep: raw10 // raw11 <<== bottom-up thinkers start here

book: james // dante // debrief // compiled //  20250707 // 20250706 // raw1 // raw2 // raw3 // raw4 // raw5 // raw6 // raw7 // raw8 // raw9 

hypothesis: you can't see inside someone else's mind

I followed this up with analysing the cause of my suffering with the dopamine experiment.

After that the doctor increased the dose of aripiprazole, I got exploded out of my person, and became the ship. See alteredstates.

Important: all typos are intentional to get across mental state. 

I have not read this content since I exported it and do not know what is in these pages.