First a visitation to see how your planets compare and to chart out the best mutual ground.
Mutual meeting ground is not 'neurotypical 50%', but a meeting ground based on your relative locations; shared hobbies and traits.
Reject anyone who is asking for a visitation but calling it a meeting. Toxic relationships are always a case of one person moving the meeting point in their favour.
Both parties must feel comfortable to leave at any time.
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