20250723

[2025/07/23, 3:32:20] James: Dawn walk, not looking directly at the thought yet. Very quiet

[2025/07/23, 3:35:25] James: Scientific method woefully lacking when it comes to anything to do with the mind

[2025/07/23, 3:35:37] James: Especially when it comes to changing your own mind and reprogramming yourself

[2025/07/23, 3:35:42] James: It is a complete system

[2025/07/23, 3:35:52] James: You don’t just change one thing and expect the others to remain the same

[2025/07/23, 3:36:02] James: You change one thing you change everything, Mr Method.

[2025/07/23, 3:36:13] James: Look outside of your little box and your peer reviews.

[2025/07/23, 3:36:19] James: Your tiny little comfort zone.

[2025/07/23, 3:36:22] James: Weak

[2025/07/23, 3:36:39] James: Afraid

[2025/07/23, 3:37:11] James: Instead of looking inward you read some papers, and only share the ones your friends tell you to.

[2025/07/23, 3:37:13] James: Weak.

[2025/07/23, 3:37:42] James: Nobody can do this for you

[2025/07/23, 3:37:46] James: You have to do it for yourself

[2025/07/23, 3:37:53] James: Nobody can do it for you

[2025/07/23, 3:37:57] James: They will fuck it up

[2025/07/23, 3:39:33] James: I spent decades cultivating the link with my body

[2025/07/23, 3:39:43] James: Decades building awareness of my sensations and states

[2025/07/23, 3:39:57] James: And the medicines that doctor prescribed destroyed my awareness in a heartbeat

[2025/07/23, 3:40:25] James: I no longer felt tiredness or hunger, two of the most basic and easily understood states

[2025/07/23, 3:40:59] James: Alexithymia my fucking hairy arsehole

[2025/07/23, 3:41:02] James: You drugged me up

[2025/07/23, 3:41:11] James: I can feel those things again you lying bastard

[2025/07/23, 3:41:30] James: You changed the system. You thought you changed one thing but you changed them all

[2025/07/23, 3:41:31] James: Moron

[2025/07/23, 5:29:12] James: The latch

[2025/07/23, 5:29:27] James: Dopamine latching on and refusing to let go

[2025/07/23, 5:29:40] James: Warp it out

[2025/07/23, 5:59:14] James: George just came and woke us up.

[2025/07/23, 5:59:35] James: I was in log mode. Unconscious. I think he read the clock wrong but hey.

[2025/07/23, 6:00:10] James: Best nights sleep in forever and it’s still only a handful of hours

[2025/07/23, 10:41:47] James: Hasn’t destroying greed been the aim of all the religions too?

[2025/07/23, 13:55:14] James: I’m still sad that I deleted that one message to George when the meds ramped up. It’s one of the few I remember writing

[2025/07/23, 13:55:37] James: That he planted the acorn in our garden at 12:00 on his mother’s 40th, exactly.

[2025/07/23, 13:55:55] James: They if it is a good seed it will grown, and if it is a bad seed it will not; and both will be good.

[2025/07/23, 13:56:11] James: I am sad… mostly because I don’t know if I even wrote it

[2025/07/23, 13:56:29] James: I am confident I did. But I locked down the site so fast afterward that I can’t find any record of it

[2025/07/23, 13:56:41] James: So maybe it was all a delusion caused by that horrible drug

[2025/07/23, 13:56:45] James: And that’s sad

[2025/07/23, 13:57:10] James: But if it was, I guess the seed itself was still planted.

[2025/07/23, 13:57:22] James: I am attached to the idea of making it poetic.

[2025/07/23, 13:57:27] James: Making it beautiful

[2025/07/23, 13:57:32] James: It doesn’t have to be beautiful

[2025/07/23, 13:57:41] James: It’s a tool, to end suffering, and it’s hard work.

[2025/07/23, 13:58:53] James: Zero dogma

[2025/07/23, 13:59:00] James: Even zen is full of dogma and mysticism

[2025/07/23, 13:59:08] James: The b-man had no mysticism

[2025/07/23, 13:59:18] James: He said to polish the soul, diligently, step by step

[2025/07/23, 13:59:23] James: There is no short cut.

[2025/07/23, 13:59:32] James: No magical overnight enlightenment

[2025/07/23, 13:59:43] James: There may well be a tipping point, which I briefly glimpsed

[2025/07/23, 13:59:54] James: But getting there is a step by step process of changing your brain chemistry.

[2025/07/23, 14:00:06] James: I think it’s a case of increasing d and s and decreasing dvar.

[2025/07/23, 14:00:23] James: And achieved independent of exogenous chemicals

[2025/07/23, 14:01:04] James: But the state itself is described exactly as I felt when ari cranked up. I have no idea where the line was between my meditative practice and the drug effects.

[2025/07/23, 14:01:10] James: And I guess it will remain that way forever

[2025/07/23, 14:01:28] James: All I know is it was a life-changing near-death experience

[2025/07/23, 14:01:42] James: I let the scientific method play with my mind and it nearly killed me

[2025/07/23, 14:02:03] James: We need real imaging of these brains and real diagnostic testing to prevent these suicides

[2025/07/23, 14:02:09] James: Because I nearly joined their ranks

[2025/07/23, 14:02:20] James: And it’s 100% the fault of the mental health industry

[2025/07/23, 14:02:28] James: So….

[2025/07/23, 14:03:09] James: Imaging, machine learning, mapping the neurons and the hormones and only then giving the hard drugs once you are confident there will not be effects like this

[2025/07/23, 14:03:37] James: I have killed all the addictions. This was bigger than them all combined.

[2025/07/23, 14:04:25] James: This was root-level motivation hacking. It disabled my own reward system so disabled my ability to see what I did and didn’t want. All I knew is I didn’t want those molecules to leave my receptors and would die to prevent it

[2025/07/23, 14:04:29] James: So bad

[2025/07/23, 14:04:44] James: And they say it’s bringing out my autism?

[2025/07/23, 14:04:45] James: So bad

[2025/07/23, 14:05:30] James: I can go in shops like a normal person again. I’m not filled with anxiety any more. My stomach cramps are gone. I am not angry. I am not jealous. I do not crave. And I can spot when the craving begins to grown

[2025/07/23, 14:05:50] James: None of these were the case when I was medicated with these ‘scientifically validated’ meds.

[2025/07/23, 14:05:54] James: Validated in what era?

[2025/07/23, 14:05:59] James: Fucking Middle Ages?

[2025/07/23, 14:06:11] James: Ridiculous.

[2025/07/23, 14:06:23] James: We have 3t fMRI and endocrine and genetic testing.

[2025/07/23, 14:07:21] James: And we rely on a kind of guessing to change someone’s entire personhood, then ask that changed person for their subjective opinion of how things are, and the doctor paints their own subjective opinion as objective fact

[2025/07/23, 14:08:11] James: That’s 3 layers of subjectivity being painted as objectivity

[2025/07/23, 14:08:16] James: It’s not true.

[2025/07/23, 14:08:19] James: It’s that simple.

[2025/07/23, 15:02:42] James: The dog seems ok. Seems to be recovering, from what I hear.

[2025/07/23, 15:02:59] James: She was dying of loneliness and I saved her life, enabled the family to see her again.

[2025/07/23, 15:03:10] James: That was a good deed. Simple as

[2025/07/23, 17:13:19] James: I don’t check the news any more

[2025/07/23, 17:13:22] James: Not intentional

[2025/07/23, 17:13:26] James: It’s just like crypto price

[2025/07/23, 17:13:41] James: The thought crosses my mind but it’s clear as day it won’t improve my sim so I just … don’t

[2025/07/23, 17:13:57] James: The genAI in your brain is 6 months ahead of the curve...