I’ve never slept well but aripiprazole destroyed my ability to sleep altogether. I ‘slept’ approximately 2 hours per night for the last 9 weeks.
It’s still messed up. But I think it might be recovering.
So I’ve cut out all drugs, apart from valproate which helps on the epilepsy side, if I do indeed have epilepsy. These sleep disturbances and the nature of my wakings, plus my rapid personalty and goal changes over the years are the main indicator for me; along with physical sensations I have felt in my head since taking ari.
Anyway last night I woke up 4 times in 80 minutes and then 6 times in the remaining 6 hours. This is the best night’s sleep I have had in forever, and it was really helped by some simple OTC sleep aids. These are gentle and more effective for me than ‘real’ sleeping meds, which just seem to zonk me and leave me feeling unrefreshed.
Oh! And I had my first dreams in 9 weeks yesterday. That’s a big deal because it means I managed to get to REM without being woken up.
Here’s a snapshot:
[2025/07/23, 20:54:22] James: Heading to bed 9-ish. Let’s see how it goes. Down to just 200mg valproate now.
[2025/07/23, 21:12:19] James: Blip
// 15 min
[2025/07/23, 21:50:52] James: Blip awake again
[2025/07/23, 21:51:10] James: Maybe someone is controlling this after all and funnelling me toward this conclusion
// 10 min
[2025/07/23, 22:01:26] James: Ok so it’s 10pm and I think I have the solution to the question; what is the question.
[2025/07/23, 22:01:44] James: I will try to sleep a few more times before taking action.
// 15 min
[2025/07/23, 22:18:46] James: Hmm awake again and considering going downstairs to write.
[2025/07/23, 22:21:43] James: Occam’s razor suggests the simplest solution is true
[2025/07/23, 22:21:46] James: FLE is simple
[2025/07/23, 22:21:52] James: As is a drug overdose
[2025/07/23, 22:22:26] James: But these nighttime wakings push me toward the FLE option, as do lots of quirks of my life to date.
[2025/07/23, 22:22:35] James: The 5 year personality arcs. Projects.
[2025/07/23, 22:22:45] James: I am now in the life-stream
[2025/07/23, 22:23:10] James: I am a stream enterer
[2025/07/23, 22:23:16] James: It will only get better from here
[2025/07/23, 22:23:31] James: It’s ok to get up and write. Don’t force yourself to try to sleep again. That’s enough for now.
// writing for 5 min
[2025/07/23, 22:47:22] James: I have taken another 200mg valproate and maybe 100mg CBD isolate
[2025/07/23, 22:54:34] James: Did some focused humming meditation and took a double dose of リポスミン, an OTC antihistamine sleep aid which helped a lot before aripiprazole
[2025/07/23, 22:54:41] James: Hopefully it still works
[2025/07/23, 22:54:48] James: Back to bed
[2025/07/23, 23:04:56] James: To say I am attached to sleep would be ridiculous
[2025/07/23, 23:05:01] James: I need sleep to function
// 50 min
[2025/07/23, 23:57:27] James: Another strong drive to document this on my website
[2025/07/23, 23:57:34] James: But will do so tomorrow
// 130 min
[2025/07/24, 2:14:45] James: Well that improved things. Let’s get a bit more.
// 70 min
[2025/07/24, 3:33:06] James: Awake again.
// 20 min
[2025/07/24, 3:51:51] James: And the sun is rising so so shall I
// 30 min
[2025/07/24, 4:28:34] James: So one thing I needed to do before I could resolve this and more forward was whether these things here here. Many are indicative of any altered state which unclear xo cousin.
// 40 min
[2025/07/24, 5:10:10] James: Drifted off again and now awake, feeling very clear but no speed to things.
Looking back I actually got almost 5 hours last night with is over double my average. I’m gradually regaining the ability to sleep. There was a marked improvement with the sleep aid so I will probably use it for a while; try to get rid of some of this sleep debt.
/jb202507240531