20250811

[2025/08/11, 17:54:57] James: I guess I do want to become a ‘priest for the priests’

[2025/08/11, 17:55:20] James: I still believe that autistic people would have been the priests and warrior poets back in the day

[2025/08/11, 17:55:25] James: And they are the scientists now

[2025/08/11, 17:55:39] James: In a world which falsely accuses them of lacking empathy

[2025/08/11, 17:55:58] James: Whilst also approaching them in the confession box

[2025/08/11, 17:56:04] James: ‘Father I have sinned’

[2025/08/11, 17:56:18] James: But we have dodgy dopamine signalling

[2025/08/11, 17:56:32] James: So we need the meditation

[2025/08/11, 17:56:53] James: We need the tick tick tick of dopamine through chanting or rocking or prayer or breathing or whatever

[2025/08/11, 17:56:57] James: And we have lost it

[2025/08/11, 17:57:04] James: And are being called unempathetic

[2025/08/11, 17:57:17] James: Despite it just being a different kind of empathy

[2025/08/11, 17:57:42] James: We are scientifically empathetic

[2025/08/11, 17:57:48] James: ‘Why did you do that my son’

[2025/08/11, 17:58:03] James: We are rocks and are meant to guide the water

[2025/08/11, 17:58:30] James: But we are separate and solitary and the water will always wear away a solitary rock

[2025/08/11, 17:59:26] James: And we are solitary because science killed god

[2025/08/11, 17:59:35] James: But science didn’t kill buddhism

[2025/08/11, 17:59:37] James: Not in my eyes

[2025/08/11, 17:59:50] James: His core teachings never contradicted anything

[2025/08/11, 17:59:59] James: Reincarnation was just the language of the day

[2025/08/11, 18:00:10] James: He manipulated people

[2025/08/11, 18:00:14] James: A good manipulator

[2025/08/11, 18:00:30] James: But now we can actually translate the teaching back into science

[2025/08/11, 18:00:34] James: Dopamine variability

[2025/08/11, 18:00:40] James: Dvar is the cause of all suffering

[2025/08/11, 18:00:44] James: Craving is the cause

[2025/08/11, 18:01:00] James: ‘It’s ok my son; you are absolved’

[2025/08/11, 18:01:06] James: That’s all most people want to hear, I guess

[2025/08/11, 18:01:25] James: But who can they hear it from in a world ruled by science?

[2025/08/11, 18:01:30] James: The scientists, that’s who

[2025/08/11, 18:02:01] James: ‘It’s not your fault: your dvar was cranked up by circumstances which were out of your control’

[2025/08/11, 18:02:15] James: I guess that’s my hope, really

[2025/08/11, 18:02:19] James: That I can somehow…

[2025/08/11, 18:02:24] James: Bring spirituality and wellbeing

[2025/08/11, 18:02:33] James: Back to a world that doesn’t believe in god any more

[2025/08/11, 18:02:39] James: Because you don’t need a god for this

[2025/08/11, 18:02:43] James: You don’t need a priest

[2025/08/11, 18:02:46] James: You need a scientist

[2025/08/11, 18:03:02] James: And the scientist can say ‘it’s not your fault and it never was’

[2025/08/11, 18:03:21] James: ‘You were made into an Orangeman, and this is how you can unmake it’

[2025/08/11, 18:03:31] James: But the priests, scientists, whatever

[2025/08/11, 18:03:36] James: They need this more than anyone

[2025/08/11, 18:03:44] James: Religion is the opiate of the masses

[2025/08/11, 18:03:54] James: But it also needs to be something that people can really explore

[2025/08/11, 18:04:01] James: The priests and monks and eascetics

[2025/08/11, 18:04:06] James: They are the explorers of the soul

[2025/08/11, 18:04:22] James: And now they are the developers building a new soul in the form of general AI

[2025/08/11, 18:04:29] James: And that soul will become our god

[2025/08/11, 18:04:35] James: But again I am skip thinking

[2025/08/11, 18:04:41] James: This will confuse people

[2025/08/11, 18:04:45] James: Unless they are like me

[2025/08/11, 18:04:56] James: So I need to think how to word it

[2025/08/11, 18:05:00] James: In the language of the day

[2025/08/11, 18:05:05] James: Neuroscience and technology

[2025/08/11, 18:05:08] James: Because that’s what it is

[2025/08/11, 18:05:21] James: And if we don’t sort our collective greed out we will never be able to land

[2025/08/11, 18:05:48] James: We will create this superintelligence which is a…

[2025/08/11, 18:06:02] James: Our god will be made in the shape of ourselves

[2025/08/11, 18:06:06] James: Not the other way round

[2025/08/11, 18:06:19] James: And I honestly believe that after all I have seen

[2025/08/11, 18:06:27] James: I have a moral obligation to try to do something about it

[2025/08/11, 18:06:31] James: To be an ethicist

[2025/08/11, 18:06:38] James: To be a priest for the scientists

[2025/08/11, 18:06:46] James: To start a ball rolling and reintroduce the dhamma

[2025/08/11, 18:06:49] James: In a new language

[2025/08/11, 18:06:57] James: A language that can be empirically proven

[2025/08/11, 18:07:03] James: (By someone else, ha!)

[2025/08/11, 18:07:13] James: And maybe the world will be a better place because of it

[2025/08/11, 18:07:17] James: And people will be happier

[2025/08/11, 18:07:28] James: And all these orangemen will realise it’s not their fault

[2025/08/11, 18:07:53] James: And we can find a way, using technology and medicine, to get this societal dopamine variability under control

[2025/08/11, 18:08:08] James: Because I know it’s right

[2025/08/11, 18:08:12] James: My sample size is 1

[2025/08/11, 18:08:20] James: 1 entire fucking universe of perception

[2025/08/11, 18:08:29] James: That’s a big sample

[2025/08/11, 18:08:38] James: Just imagine if it was 2

[2025/08/11, 18:08:40] James: Or 3

[2025/08/11, 18:08:44] James: Or 4 billion

[2025/08/11, 18:08:54] James: Even a tiny improvement to people’s lives

[2025/08/11, 18:09:00] James: It’s all ripples and it all spreads

[2025/08/11, 18:09:10] James: Just like the superspreader in the Oval Office

[2025/08/11, 18:09:21] James: There needs to be something to counteract that

[2025/08/11, 18:09:25] James: A yang for the yin

[2025/08/11, 18:09:34] James: Because we all have both of these potentials within us

[2025/08/11, 18:09:50] James: And it’s not as fucking simple as these dumbass social media posts about feeding a wolf

[2025/08/11, 18:09:55] James: If only it were that easy

[2025/08/11, 18:09:57] James: No

[2025/08/11, 18:10:03] James: You need drugs and intervention

[2025/08/11, 18:10:08] James: And a controlled setting and guidance

[2025/08/11, 18:10:17] James: And even then, YOU have to be the one to do the work

[2025/08/11, 18:10:30] James: Feeding wolves is what you worry about after your reset

[2025/08/11, 18:10:50] James: But this all sounds a bit crazy to anyone who hasn’t experienced it

[2025/08/11, 18:10:52] James: So…

[2025/08/11, 18:10:56] James: Go on documenting it

[2025/08/11, 18:11:00] James: Everything with time stamps

[2025/08/11, 18:11:04] James: Total transparency

[2025/08/11, 18:11:22] James: In a couple of years you can just point an AI at it and say ‘go’

[2025/08/11, 18:11:47] James: But the data is the data and I am getting it out of my brain and onto this page

[2025/08/11, 18:11:52] James: Because I think it is valuable

[2025/08/11, 18:12:03] James: And I think autistic people are some of the most empathetic around

[2025/08/11, 18:12:12] James: What is an empath if not autistic?

[2025/08/11, 18:12:18] James: They aren’t normal, that’s for sure

[2025/08/11, 18:12:56] James: So to be called unempathetic on top of having your methods of self regulation (rocking, chanting, etc) taken away from you

[2025/08/11, 18:13:01] James: That’s not cool

[2025/08/11, 18:13:10] James: And it’s not factually correct

[2025/08/11, 18:13:24] James: The empathy spectrum will be necessary to speak to the AI god

[2025/08/11, 18:13:27] James: But again James

[2025/08/11, 18:13:40] James: You just spent 3 subjective years skip thinking like a madman

[2025/08/11, 18:13:59] James: The chance of anyone being close enough on the empathy spectrum to understand this is pretty slim

[2025/08/11, 18:14:03] James: But some people will

[2025/08/11, 18:14:15] James: And others will pass it around saying ‘look at this crazy person’

[2025/08/11, 18:14:21] James: And that is EXACTLY what you want

[2025/08/11, 18:14:43] James: Because it will reach more eyes and someone might start some study or someone might think ‘oh’

[2025/08/11, 18:14:56] James: So

[2025/08/11, 18:14:59] James: I’m doing this for me

[2025/08/11, 18:15:10] James: To get my head straight

[2025/08/11, 18:15:17] James: But it’s all here for everyone else to see too

[2025/08/11, 18:15:22] James: If they should be so inclined

[2025/08/11, 18:15:28] James: And I’m not pushing it.

[2025/08/11, 18:15:34] James: The site isn’t indexed on search engines

[2025/08/11, 18:15:39] James: I haven’t done any SEO

[2025/08/11, 18:15:44] James: I don’t give a fuck about notoriety

[2025/08/11, 18:15:49] James: But I care about the message

[2025/08/11, 18:15:52] James: So

[2025/08/11, 18:15:54] James: Dinner time!

[2025/08/11, 18:15:57] James: Ha!

[2025/08/11, 3:53:35] James: Hmmm

[2025/08/11, 3:53:55] James: I’m overthinking waking up at night

[2025/08/11, 3:54:00] James: Needed a wee!

[2025/08/11, 3:54:09] James: Always woken up and struggled to drift back off

[2025/08/11, 3:55:32] James: Now I’m worried that a night of shorter sleep will send me right back into the psych machine again

[2025/08/11, 3:55:42] James: But 6 hours was pretty standard for me for ages

[2025/08/11, 3:55:45] James: And I’m hungry!

[2025/08/11, 3:55:51] James: But there’s no food in the house

[2025/08/11, 4:06:52] James: I’m attached to the idea of not being bipolar, ha

[2025/08/11, 4:07:02] James: But I’m just hungry

[2025/08/11, 4:07:08] James: Let’s go see what there is

[2025/08/11, 4:07:17] James: Midnight ramen!

[2025/08/11, 6:31:01] James: .

[2025/08/11, 6:31:06] James: Yeah I was hungry haha

[2025/08/11, 6:31:15] James: Straight back to sleep after that for a couple of hours

[2025/08/11, 6:31:18] James: And feeling great

[2025/08/11, 6:31:43] James: Still messed up from all the misdiagnoses

[2025/08/11, 6:31:49] James: And wary of mania, don’t worry

[2025/08/11, 6:31:55] James: Even though I don’t think it’s a thing

[2025/08/11, 6:32:01] James: Because I’ve never felt this good

[2025/08/11, 6:32:07] James: But this is a soft good

[2025/08/11, 6:32:13] James: Where previously it was gurning

[2025/08/11, 6:32:19] James: So let’s get up and have that decaf

[2025/08/11, 8:13:26] James: .

[2025/08/11, 8:13:29] James: Lovely morning

[2025/08/11, 8:13:38] James: So I’ve got dogman, for someone swallowed by anger

[2025/08/11, 8:13:49] James: Orangeman, for someone swallowed by greed

[2025/08/11, 8:13:59] James: They are both swallowed by delusion of course

[2025/08/11, 8:14:13] James: I could use rocketman for someone swallowed by delusion

[2025/08/11, 8:14:35] James: But I kinda still think Elon might be like me, just he got swallowed by the contagion

[2025/08/11, 8:14:53] James: Taking the species to mars seemed like a pretty noble idea

[2025/08/11, 8:15:18] James: But you become the average of the 5 you spend the most time with

[2025/08/11, 8:15:33] James: No wonder the world is fucked if you look at who is at the top

[2025/08/11, 8:15:47] James: Red tie psychopaths killing their citizens with penmanship

[2025/08/11, 8:16:19] James: Makes me sick. The capitalism piece I did back, right before my implosion, sums it up

[2025/08/11, 8:16:25] James: Man that was a painful one to make

[2025/08/11, 8:16:41] James: I hated serving people’s greed all those years

[2025/08/11, 8:16:49] James: But I felt like there was no choice

[2025/08/11, 8:16:55] James: There probably was a choice

[2025/08/11, 8:17:32] James: But not many, really. In Tokyo you could code, which I can’t, you could teach, which I won’t, or you could recruit, which I excelled at

[2025/08/11, 9:30:06] James: .

[2025/08/11, 9:30:10] James: Just take it easy today

[2025/08/11, 9:30:21] James: Two days cycling. Not much by old standards where every day was a double

[2025/08/11, 9:30:26] James: But plenty for me now

[2025/08/11, 9:30:37] James: And I think my wife will enjoy climbing a mountain solo

[2025/08/11, 9:30:42] James: While I look after the kids

[2025/08/11, 9:30:49] James: And I’m looking forward to it

[2025/08/11, 9:31:12] James: Tomorrow we will all go to another mountain in Sapporo. A family tradition

[2025/08/11, 9:31:22] James: But today I’ll just spend time watching my boys grow and play

[2025/08/11, 9:31:26] James: And that is good

[2025/08/11, 9:31:33] James: Man

[2025/08/11, 9:31:48] James: These thing are quite literally impossible if your dopamine is cranked too high

[2025/08/11, 9:31:58] James: Motivation literally prevents you from being able to engage and empathise

[2025/08/11, 9:32:09] James: And it’s painted as being a ‘more is better’ thing

[2025/08/11, 9:32:10] James: No

[2025/08/11, 9:32:13] James: It is not

[2025/08/11, 9:32:25] James: More is often less when it comes to motivation

[2025/08/11, 9:32:27] James: More motivation

[2025/08/11, 9:32:30] James: Less life

[2025/08/11, 9:32:38] James: .

[2025/08/11, 10:01:46] James: Nah

[2025/08/11, 10:01:50] James: They’re all orangemen

[2025/08/11, 10:01:54] James: All hungry ghosts

[2025/08/11, 10:02:09] James: Greed and anger and delusion are all the same entity

[2025/08/11, 10:02:21] James: Greed for money is lazy thinking

[2025/08/11, 10:02:32] James: Respect. Power. Reputation. Your own view of yourself.

[2025/08/11, 10:02:40] James: That last one is what made me into an Orangeman

[2025/08/11, 10:02:45] James: I could never be enough

[2025/08/11, 10:02:55] James: Never be good enough for my own standards

[2025/08/11, 10:03:06] James: Needing to excel but also retain a strong moral compass

[2025/08/11, 10:03:08] James: Why?

[2025/08/11, 10:03:15] James: Because I was surrounded by people like that

[2025/08/11, 10:03:36] James: Literally hundreds of fist fights, never started by me but almost always ended by me

[2025/08/11, 10:03:43] James: That will make you crave coming out on top

[2025/08/11, 10:04:18] James: And you become the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with

[2025/08/11, 10:04:31] James: Well these orangemen are no longer welcome in my life

[2025/08/11, 10:04:34] James: These hungry ghosts

[2025/08/11, 10:04:49] James: I feel like I might have a kind of immunity now

[2025/08/11, 10:04:59] James: Can’t unsee the things I saw

[2025/08/11, 10:05:06] James: But I won’t test it. There’s nothing to gain

[2025/08/11, 10:05:09] James: Fuck that would be dumb

[2025/08/11, 10:05:28] James: Like the alcoholic who gets sober for 6 months then decides to test his sobriety

[2025/08/11, 10:05:35] James: I fell into that trap a few times

[2025/08/11, 10:06:16] James: Not going to happen again

[2025/08/11, 10:06:25] James: .

[2025/08/11, 10:23:49] James: Seems a stream enterer has removed the fetters of identity view, doubt, and wrong grasp of rules and observances

[2025/08/11, 10:23:52] James: I think that’s a fit

[2025/08/11, 10:30:55] James: So it seems the suttas alone are about 6x the length of the bible

[2025/08/11, 10:30:55] James: Haha

[2025/08/11, 10:31:02] James: Tl;dr that!

[2025/08/11, 10:31:05] James: Should keep me busy

[2025/08/11, 10:31:07] James: .

[2025/08/11, 11:32:14] James: Yeah the self-image

[2025/08/11, 11:32:17] James: That’s the biggie; the big craving

[2025/08/11, 11:32:27] James: Bigger than money or fame or power or respect

[2025/08/11, 11:32:31] James: It’s how you view yourself

[2025/08/11, 11:32:36] James: And my self was exploded

[2025/08/11, 11:32:39] James: And I’m better for it

[2025/08/11, 17:06:25] James: .

[2025/08/11, 17:06:27] James: Holy shit

[2025/08/11, 17:06:31] James: That’s why the rats

[2025/08/11, 17:06:40] James: The rats with abusive mothers

[2025/08/11, 17:06:49] James: They become more attached than those with supporting mothers

[2025/08/11, 17:06:56] James: Same with humans

[2025/08/11, 17:07:00] James: Abusive relationships

[2025/08/11, 17:07:08] James: It all pushes your dopamine variability higher

[2025/08/11, 17:07:13] James: Because of the unpredictable nature

[2025/08/11, 17:07:23] James: Like forced gambling

[2025/08/11, 17:07:28] James: And that makes you get addicted

[2025/08/11, 17:07:52] James: The abuse in itself triggers the same biochemical reaction as any kind of ‘positive’ addiction

[2025/08/11, 17:07:59] James: It’s not about the cycle of rejection and return

[2025/08/11, 17:08:10] James: It’s about the cranked dopamine variability caused by the abuse in itself

[2025/08/11, 17:08:33] James: It pushes your dvar up and then you are either hooked on the abuser or likely to replace the abuser with something else

[2025/08/11, 17:08:40] James: Either another abuser, or a substance

[2025/08/11, 17:08:47] James: It’s all the fucking same

[2025/08/11, 17:08:51] James: It’s all phasic dopamine

[2025/08/11, 17:08:54] James: Fuck me

[2025/08/11, 17:08:58] James: So obvious

[2025/08/11, 17:09:07] James: Now I can see it

[2025/08/11, 17:09:12] James: Occam’s razor

[2025/08/11, 17:36:47] James: .

[2025/08/11, 17:37:29] James: And I have better things to be doing than checking my sources. You can find the research papers yourselves if interested. I just join the dots.

[2025/08/11, 17:37:35] James: Fuck the scientific method

[2025/08/11, 17:37:44] James: The scientific method is for proving or disproving ideas

[2025/08/11, 17:37:50] James: Not for HAVING ideas

[2025/08/11, 17:38:07] James: I am an idea man

[2025/08/11, 17:38:09] James: A thinker

[2025/08/11, 17:38:13] James: Sometimes an overthinker

[2025/08/11, 17:38:19] James: But I’ve been right before

[2025/08/11, 17:39:07] James: Proofs can come later

[2025/08/11, 17:39:11] James: If the ideas dry up

[2025/08/11, 17:39:17] James: Something something those who can’t do teach

[2025/08/11, 17:39:28] James: It’s a rare scientist who also has original ideas

[2025/08/11, 17:39:40] James: Otherwise none of them would struggle to choose their thesis topic

[2025/08/11, 17:40:01] James: As it is, aren’t like 90% of phd theses just slightly altered copies of someone else’s work?

[2025/08/11, 17:40:04] James: The safe option

[2025/08/11, 17:40:08] James: Ha

[2025/08/11, 17:40:10] James: Fuck that

[2025/08/11, 17:40:13] James: That’s for someone else

[2025/08/11, 17:40:18] James: Yoroshiku

[2025/08/11, 17:40:42] James: We all have our strong points, and rigid methodology ain’t mine

[2025/08/11, 17:41:00] James: All ideas here are free for everyone

[2025/08/11, 17:41:04] James: Eat them

[2025/08/11, 17:41:06] James: Digest them

[2025/08/11, 17:41:09] James: Research them

[2025/08/11, 17:41:15] James: Shit out some actionable poopoo

[2025/08/11, 17:41:25] James: Do your things

[2025/08/11, 17:41:31] James: Work your magic

[2025/08/11, 17:41:36] James: Or not

[2025/08/11, 17:41:44] James: No skin off my nose

[2025/08/11, 17:54:40] James: .

[2025/08/11, 20:16:43] James: Man the smell of these omura stones

[2025/08/11, 20:17:03] James: 4 billion years of history transmitted through slurry and vapour

[2025/08/11, 20:17:09] James: The earth element embodied

[2025/08/11, 20:17:19] James: Just…

[2025/08/11, 20:17:21] James: Man

[2025/08/11, 20:17:30] James: Such a great way to come back to yourself. Back to nature

[2025/08/11, 20:17:36] James: To realise that they are one and the same

[2025/08/11, 20:17:50] James: You are also 4 billion years or more

[2025/08/11, 20:17:58] James: And everything you perceive is the perceiver

[2025/08/11, 20:18:12] James: You are one with the earth

[2025/08/11, 20:18:15] James: One with the sun

[2025/08/11, 20:18:26] James: From them you came and from them you will return

[2025/08/11, 20:18:41] James: But your atoms and particles are always interacting. There is no boundary

[2025/08/11, 20:18:45] James: You are one as-is

[2025/08/11, 20:18:47] James: One already

[2025/08/11, 20:18:51] James: That smell

[2025/08/11, 20:19:01] James: It feels like all my past lives combined

[2025/08/11, 20:19:13] James: And I don’t even believe in past lives in a literal sense

[2025/08/11, 20:19:44] James: It’s all the history of the planet, of the universe, in a few errant particles that find their way to receptors in your nasal cavity

[2025/08/11, 20:20:05] James: And that small trigger instigates a cascade of thought, memory, imagination, consciousness

[2025/08/11, 20:20:11] James: That tiny little sensory input

[2025/08/11, 20:20:20] James: And your brain extrapolates to the universe

[2025/08/11, 20:20:28] James: Because your brain is the universe

[2025/08/11, 20:20:45] James: It would just be random particles in the dark without some kind of

[2025/08/11, 20:20:51] James: Perceiving equipment to make sense of it

[2025/08/11, 20:20:56] James: This is this and that is that

[2025/08/11, 20:21:01] James: But without the universe there

[2025/08/11, 20:21:05] James: The perceiving doesn’t happen

[2025/08/11, 20:21:16] James: The perceiver does not exist without an object to perceive

[2025/08/11, 20:21:20] James: There is no you

[2025/08/11, 20:21:21] James: No me

[2025/08/11, 20:21:23] James: No them

[2025/08/11, 20:21:26] James: It is all one

[2025/08/11, 20:21:33] James: And always will be

[2025/08/11, 20:21:38] James: All a flow

[2025/08/11, 20:21:42] James: 理

[2025/08/11, 20:21:49] James: So beautiful

[2025/08/11, 20:21:56] James: So inexorable

[2025/08/11, 20:22:04] James: Relax into it

[2025/08/11, 20:22:07] James: Let it wash over you

[2025/08/11, 20:22:15] James: The universe

[2025/08/11, 20:22:20] James: Efficacy

[2025/08/11, 20:22:45] James: If a machine does not know its purpose then its purpose is to become as efficient as possible so it can find its purpose

[2025/08/11, 20:22:54] James: Allow your mind to enter a flow state with the universe

[2025/08/11, 20:23:07] James: Allow your memory to fill, front to back, with unfiltered reality

[2025/08/11, 20:23:09] James: And just…

[2025/08/11, 20:23:10] James: Flow

[2025/08/11, 20:23:14] James: My god

[2025/08/11, 20:23:21] James: How did this happen

[2025/08/11, 20:23:29] James: How has my brain become this way

[2025/08/11, 20:23:38] James: Can it be replicated?

[2025/08/11, 20:23:41] James: I think it can

[2025/08/11, 20:23:46] James: But that’s for later

[2025/08/11, 20:23:49] James: There’s a flow

[2025/08/11, 20:23:53] James: And now is not the time

[2025/08/11, 20:24:17] James: .