[2025/08/30, 9:32:01] James: Well it seems that dark night might be over
[2025/08/30, 9:32:17] James: Apparently this is the way it’ll be… forever I guess
[2025/08/30, 9:32:24] James: You see the nature of reality
[2025/08/30, 9:32:29] James: You feel amazing
[2025/08/30, 9:32:35] James: You have a dark night afterward
[2025/08/30, 9:32:45] James: But then it consolidates and you feel equanimous
[2025/08/30, 9:33:01] James: And rinse and repeat, but with less attachment each cycle
[2025/08/30, 9:33:09] James: And the possibility to touch nibbana at the end
[2025/08/30, 9:33:13] James: But too early for me yet
[2025/08/30, 9:33:19] James: My brain needs to recover
[2025/08/30, 9:33:25] James: The tiger is spent and the cage is wobbly
[2025/08/30, 9:34:08] James: But the whole thing finally makes sense
[2025/08/30, 10:44:50] James: .
[2025/08/30, 10:44:51] James: Oh wow
[2025/08/30, 10:44:57] James: The granularity of perception
[2025/08/30, 10:45:00] James: Walking
[2025/08/30, 10:45:01] James: Lovely
[2025/08/30, 15:29:10] James: .
[2025/08/30, 15:29:29] James: The granularity of sound is what I’m really noticing in this cycle
[2025/08/30, 15:29:34] James: Everything feels 8D
[2025/08/30, 15:29:53] James: I can gauge the distance and hold many sound sources in my awareness at once
[2025/08/30, 15:30:03] James: My facial muscles remain relaxed
[2025/08/30, 15:30:14] James: I still get a bit anxious and talky when I’m on the phone
[2025/08/30, 15:30:34] James: The sound of the gravel under my feet
[2025/08/30, 15:30:41] James: Every tiny bit popping and cracking
[2025/08/30, 15:31:10] James: I see through my peripherals more than I did
[2025/08/30, 15:31:14] James: Everything is easier
[2025/08/30, 15:31:24] James: I am just out for a walk without a purpose
[2025/08/30, 15:31:32] James: Though the purpose is the walk
[2025/08/30, 15:31:43] James: I don’t know if I will bother getting the drink I came out for
[2025/08/30, 15:31:50] James: I will just walk around
[2025/08/30, 15:31:53] James: Add some on
[2025/08/30, 15:32:05] James: Visit a small shrine
[2025/08/30, 15:32:13] James: My wife and kids are so great
[2025/08/30, 15:32:28] James: I don’t know how she stayed with me through all that
[2025/08/30, 15:32:33] James: But I’m happy she did
[2025/08/30, 15:33:01] James: and now I know about cycling through A&p and dark night I can better anticipate when to take on difficult conversations
[2025/08/30, 15:33:12] James: Meditation is nice. Like… super nice.
[2025/08/30, 15:33:15] James: When did that happen eh
[2025/08/30, 15:33:28] James: Even when it’s not nice, it’s not hard like it used to be
[2025/08/30, 15:33:39] James: No inherent struggling and fighting the mind
[2025/08/30, 15:33:59] James: If just a little trying to judge it toward fullness