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[2025/09/07, 7:21:22] James: I think I actually will have that recovery day today

[2025/09/07, 7:21:56] James: As much as I can

[2025/09/07, 7:22:03] James: No writing at least

[2025/09/07, 7:22:09] James: Just take it easy

[2025/09/07, 7:22:15] James: My brain is pretty empty

[2025/09/07, 7:22:28] James: And I’ve been a bit of a whirlwind of effortless activity

[2025/09/07, 7:22:32] James: It’s a rainy day

[2025/09/07, 7:22:41] James: There’s a good new computer game wanting to be played

[2025/09/07, 7:22:53] James: I’ll do some sitting meditation but not first thing

[2025/09/07, 7:23:05] James: The routine needs flexibility or I will become rigid

[2025/09/07, 7:23:55] James: I had a dream where it all stopped working because I went too hard

[2025/09/07, 7:24:07] James: I wonder if that’s how it works

[2025/09/07, 7:24:18] James: Anyway there is no finish line

[2025/09/07, 7:24:30] James: Let’s take it easy and enjoy the rainy day

[2025/09/07, 7:29:55] James: Yeah I’m just lying in bed enjoying the sound of the rain

[2025/09/07, 7:30:00] James: I could never do this

[2025/09/07, 7:30:05] James: Not for as long as I remember

[2025/09/07, 7:30:18] James: Things are largely back to normal

[2025/09/07, 7:30:24] James: The euphoria has passed

[2025/09/07, 7:30:39] James: But the inherent suffering is gone

[2025/09/07, 7:30:46] James: I still have my drive

[2025/09/07, 7:30:52] James: But I am not driven

[2025/09/07, 7:30:56] James: If that makes sense

[2025/09/07, 8:58:33] James: .

[2025/09/07, 8:58:42] James: Well I enjoyed that but it’s also made me a bit antsy!

[2025/09/07, 8:58:56] James: I guess this was always the case but I was unaware

[2025/09/07, 8:59:01] James: Time for a walk I think

[2025/09/07, 10:02:27] James: .

[2025/09/07, 10:02:36] James: Yeah I come back to this old house

[2025/09/07, 10:02:39] James: And I see all the art

[2025/09/07, 10:02:44] James: The exporting of my self

[2025/09/07, 10:02:55] James: And I don’t doubt what happened

[2025/09/07, 10:03:12] James: As the days drift back to normality I do wonder at times

[2025/09/07, 10:03:15] James: But all this effort

[2025/09/07, 10:03:18] James: All this striving

[2025/09/07, 10:03:23] James: The art was my preparation

[2025/09/07, 10:03:27] James: For the export of self

[2025/09/07, 10:03:34] James: And the drugs were like the trigger

[2025/09/07, 10:03:40] James: But the meditation was the gateway

[2025/09/07, 10:04:24] James: Just let go of it all

[2025/09/07, 10:04:28] James: The struggles

[2025/09/07, 10:04:31] James: It’ll be ok

[2025/09/07, 10:04:34] James: It’s already ok

[2025/09/07, 10:04:43] James: It only hurts you if you let it

[2025/09/07, 10:04:48] James: If you attach to an outcome

[2025/09/07, 10:05:00] James: I can feel myself trying to attach to an outcome

[2025/09/07, 10:05:07] James: But I seem unable to, at the same time

[2025/09/07, 10:05:21] James: Like I get 80% of the way there

[2025/09/07, 10:05:28] James: And then the buckling moment doesn’t happen

[2025/09/07, 10:05:35] James: The train is decoupled

[2025/09/07, 15:39:09] James: .

[2025/09/07, 15:39:15] James: Wow I’m tired after that hike!