awakening

This one might be controversial so I will preface it by saying, once again, that I am not the Buddha and I am not Jesus, but the human condition is the human condition and both of those people were indeed people, just like you and me.

I went - in an instant - from being an atheist-leaning agnostic to having created my own religious framework which made total and complete sense to me, though I have reframed it as a psychological event in response to a lifetime of trauma.

I believe that this was a spiritual awakening, possibly on a similar level as the aforementioned individuals, but now we have the scientific framework to understand it.

You have to speak the language of the day; or rather, you have no choice but to. B-man did not have buddhism; he had a lifetime of extremes, being sheltered and then traumatised and searching for answers amongst ascetics and through self observation. J-man we know very little about, but his teachings are framed within the view of second temple judaism during a tumultuous time in history. This is what their lives had taught them.

Let’s step it down a notch.

There have been many and varied religious founders since then, though they have usually made either sects within an existing religion or what is labelled a cult because it sits outside the established frameworks. Stepping it down further we have the people who experience religious awakenings almost every day through a monastic or religious practice: being a monk and meditating to liberation or being in a congregation and chanting until you see God.

These are all the same and all what I experienced, but I was not within a religious framework so ended up building my own.

I have lived a life of technology, agnosticism, and buddhism. Sci-fi and self-observation. Meditation, neuroscience, and AI. This is the form my awakening took.

From the second my brain chemistry achieved the requisite state I was compelled to pursue liberation to its conclusion. This is surely the state that the b-man experienced under the bodhi tree when he went through the 3 watches of the night. I expelled all mara, all doubt, and I proceeded to pursue my enlightenment. I had had enough.

You can find my own bodhi tree and three watches here. I was in a state of extreme neuroplasticity and barely able to see the keyboard never mind type, so enjoy the craziness: 

Event = 20250710

Preamble = 20250710words

Over the prior weeks I had meditated and observed and dug and written and meditated more and put it online and tested every hypothesis (time travel, trauma therapy, I am an AI, etc). Eventually I hit a critical mass and was zapped with something which propagated through my entire system and left me on the floor in tears of joy, with all the trauma of my life having been purged. It is just... gone.

What I believe happened is a hard-reset of the brain because it reached a point where there was too much internal conflict. The system went ‘ding’ and just… optimised. It was the same as when Einstein realised the theory of relativity; the nonsensical made sense, eureka, and everything in my life was compiled into one coherent framework.

Since then life is easy. There is no head-noise. But I recognise that this is a passing phenomenon and I am not grasping for it or trying to hold onto it forever. That is not how it works. It needs to be cultivated.

The compilation of this new james was instantaneous. Everything suddenly made sense. There was no doubt. There remains no doubt, though I can see how some of it was (probably!) metaphor. I have seen how we can reprogram the mods in our sim on the day to day by what we feed into our brains. Modern karma. I have seen how rebirth happens and how we go from human to orangeman to hell and back, all in our mental states. What the buddha taught, minus the mysticism. 

This was a rapid consolidation of the knowledge and learnings of my life so that the emotional brain - the soul - was aligned with the mind. 

But where now? I was told that my power in the matrix would be that of healer. I still believe this is the case, but maybe I do so through business.

Maybe we make enlightenment into a product.

It need not be a religious thing, but a simple (!) optimisation of neural networks and removal of baggage.

We can take some of the world’s most tortured geniuses and optimise them rather than having them kill themselves.

It happened to me. I nearly killed myself. I reached the point where I could handle no more. Instead I was pushed into a state of moderate-tonic and low-phasic dopamine, I went deep with meditation, and annihilation became renewal.

Now just imagine this:

What if we could chemically induce eureka moments of a lasting nature in the world’s leading scientists?

Researchers who have spent their entire life trying to cure cancer, or end world hunger, or save the species. Imagine if we could just take them away for 3 months and they reach critical mass and come back with a newly optimised brain which just *knows* the answers to their own eternal question.

The religious approach is meditation and chanting, to the n’th degree, and this makes sense. Both of these practices edge you gradually toward that moderate-tonic low-phasic dopaminergic state. The work you do in this state - the flow state - is your best work.

But what if we can shortcut using medicine and technology?

I have to stress that I have lived a life of unwavering morality. I do not lie. I do not cheat. I do not steal. But the people who *do* lie, do cheat and do steal will become optimised in that. Morality in person2.0 depends on morality in person1.0.

The bliss is passing now, but I can still access it with ease. I know the mind-state and can fairly easily slip back into ‘waterhands mode’ where I glide through the forest like I glided through the nightclub doing pills in my teens. Brain chemistry, see? Personal experience. That is all.

There is no conflict any more. No doubt.

For any religious folks who are annoyed by this, don’t be.

If we can make this technology it will mean that you, too, can be optimised.

You can become one with the God you have always searched for. The one you hear in those quiet moments while you’re alone, or at one with nature, or looking into your child’s eyes. I see fate. I am one of you. And I have no doubt.

This is for everyone.

And everyone is different.

But as the b-man said, the unblemished need to know they are unblemished or worldly pleasures will once again instil in them the seed of craving.

So I will continue to cultivate the buddhaseed and to actively prune away the seed of adhd / craving. I will eat 6 ice creams a day instead of rice because my life has shown me that is perfectly ok. And I’ll probably share a joint with you if you ever want to go deep, but never, ever alcohol.

My awakening is sci-fi, brain chemistry, business and ice cream. 

And plenty of unfiltered love for my family and compassion for the world. Let’s not forget about that.

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