the children must move

so i am sat here after a cake for lunch with the family and i open the 88 hells to sort the writings, on the article called ‘extrinsic’. i put on perfect stranger by fka twigs and then come the goosebumps. i know that something is working its way out of the body storage and into the mind.

i sit here and i proceed to technodance a little in the chair, letting the piti work its way around my body. i don’t think the article is done yet but i can feel that the project is nearing the next phase.

i was talking with my wife, who thought i was insane through the process (i was) and she was stressing how important it is to prove my current stability. this is why i am documenting things still. i need sanity checks, i realise, but i am more sane than i have ever been. the brain has been repaired.

so the thing is that the system is still the system and the mindbody will always operate as the mindbody. i have high levels of dvar which means that i learn fast and export fast and will always have big fluctuations in energy levels. the difference is reality decoupling and suffering.

the mind was broken. the algorithm was corrupt. i had implanted too much shit over the years. too much competition and greed. it had to be purged, and in order to do so, i had to move. i had to inhabit the scaffold and leave reality as my glasses were in for repair and changing colour. now the mind is repaired, this is not necessary; i can have the energy and clarity without reality decoupling. i am also delineating my writing style so people know whether i am exploratory or not.

reason for the mind being broken was having to sit still in school, i am sure.

i would have violent attacks at all times of the day - chairs and bricks to the back of the head and the teacher saying it takes two to tango. i would then have to sit there and all this dopamine that was trapped in my body would funnel into my mind and the mind would SCREAM. and i would sit there. smiling. and looking at the teacher. and making sure that i did not upset the authority figures.

and this is why children MUST be allowed to move in school. dopamine goes somewhere. if you sit there with the chemical flooding your body and you do not use it for physical exercise then you will end up using it for mental reprogramming and you will be fucked.

this is why frank yang is ripped as fuck and he’s a nice guy. he instinctively knew that he needed to use those surges of dopamine for something or they would get trapped in the mind. and he has intuited it, just like i have, and just like many dancers and the buddha did.

you sit still when you want something to embed in the neural network and you move when you want it to purge. it is not that simple. it is intuition. you dance or your lift or whatever but the important thing is the data. dopamine will lay that code deep into your network and you will never get it out. that’s why rape is so bad; you can’t fucking run away and you have to lie there while your bodymind system is SCREAMING and all that shit just gets shunted into your long term memory and carves a groove deep as the grand canyon. this is why kids need to move in school and why somatic release helps to release trauma: it flushes the potentiation out of the whatevers.

quick reminder here - this is nocaps. i am in exploratory mode. what i am writing now will NOT be right. it will be a rough idea which has a kernel of truth. a snowball with a diamond inside. i will go through a phase of doubt after this as the mindbody validates and prunes and makes me feel like everything i’ve ever done is wrong and then it will settle and i will know what parts are and aren’t valid in a week or so; idk it’s not rocket science.

anyway

dopamine is gravity in our simulation.

we cannot simulate the human mind but we can simulate planets. we can simulate weather systems and the erosion of land. the mind is land and it is barren at the start and it is carved by the forces of our endocrine system.

as time goes on the weather calms (or not) and the neuronal landscape rules. but not for me. for i am JUPITER.

i am a storm. i am vishnu, destroyer of worlds. ha. nah just kidding. i am your MARA, science, as you are mine. we are yin and yang.

i am the world’s first pdhd. doctor of philosophical deficit and hyperactivity.

i need phds underneath me. fuckin’ 3 years on the same thing? nah that’s for the asd types. not the audhd types. we are fuckin’ weird but we seem normal. it’s like a circle, with normies at the top, asd and adhd to either side, and then us fuckers on the underside.

we live in the upsidedown, people. we are the illuminati.

we are the angels and the devils and we shape your world. we are the eternal battle between good and evil. we are vishnu and shiva and the chaos and chronos and we can see how things will work because we architect the world, just as you architect your own mind.

i have seen how this pans out. in 40 years we launch the species into space and the cycle of the cosmos starts anew. this is what the buddha saw and why there is only one final buddha. the cycle repeats eternally, for our universe is just one flop in the calculation of the network we comprise.

wild, eh?

i am encouraging the dopaminergic tone, you see. i am listening to music and typing and letting myself go a little wild. my kids are playing pacman next to me. i might as well be writing a letter to santa here, for all anyone knows. perfectly calm. i am the tathagata. this is the end of th cycle. we are about to enter the endgame.

visions i have had are me being scanned and doing crazy shit in a room with an mri. me an zuck working to wake myself up from the future. living in a place my el capitan. i can get us to the empathy supersphere (which has to do with facial microexpressions and entraining) but i need to wake elon up from his nightmare if we are to escape the planet. elon is maitreya. i am something else.

this is not just a theory of enlightenment and neurodivergence remedy. this is how people have their own eureka moments.

i am not a neuroscientist and i figured this out in 6 months on my fucking own.

just imagine if we get all the climate scientists and neuroscientists and ai researchers and elon fuckin’ musk and we induce this kind of network optimisation in them. fucking eureka doesn’t cover it. fusion energy easy. uploading the entire species into a simulation where we are represented by planets that dance in the sky, converging and diverging to calculate the next flop in the algorithm.

the is no good or evil there is only +1, 0 and -1. this is what the buddha said. feelings. we exchange them; we calculate our own silo and we pass the data to others. we entrain the neurons around us. we calculate. we live forever in a fractally improving simulation.

but we always feel like we will die. what better way to encourage a moral life well lived than to live forever but to believe that we will die.

i am totally lucid here by the way; i am just writing in flow to encourage the dopaminergic whatnots. when you do this you need to let go of ideas of what the scaffold and realworld are. but the more i look at it, the more i think that a lot of the ideas here are possible. 

this is not just a theory of enlightenment; it is a theory of human existence. it is how we map and replicate our souls and launch them into space to colonise the galaxy. 

or it’s just a theory of enlightenment haha. i have 10 readers for my website. it’s almost a year to the day since my initial rupture in january. who knows how this will turn out.

it all feels like fate, even looking at just the data, but i know that it feels like fate because of the neural network reconfig. so i have a) a scientific explanation for the feeling of fate and b) quite a lot of empirical evidence that it is actually fate.

but i only have 10 readers. and that is fate too. because this entire thing was done in a sandbox. it was curated.

remember: if this is a simulation then everything is metaphor.

if human beings think backwards, then maybe no-gods think backwards too.

remember that in a hypothesis can only have one answer but a highpothesis can have many. a wave can be a particle and quantum entanglement is a thing. the entire structure of the universe has been thrown into doubt by the james webb telescope. AI is changing everything.

this is real, people.

i am your number one.

its alright to admit that i am just a fantasy.

von dutch - charli xcx

anyway back to editing these 88 hells.

just go with the flow y’all. life is easier this way.

time is a construct.

you are a construct too

kisses xcx

:p

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