play

Everybody starts life adhd. Those fucking babies man. Wont shut the fuck up.

Seriously though we all start adhd and gradually become ‘more asd’, I think. It’s called growing up; something I never did; or maybe I overshot in some areas and not in others.

Anyway high volume endocrone system when you’re a baby basically means that the mush of your neurones is shaped by the soup of your early life. The endocrine system is like water flowing through the slurry of your neurones and making channels for thought.

The channels get more ingrained and you have a brain, and the mind becomes an interplay between the two, with one picking up the slack when the other is at rest.

For example I think that emotional continuity likely depends on the endocrine system enveloping your neurones in the mood of the moment. That way even if your neurones miss a beat, which for some absolutely unfounded reason I think they must do regulaly, the mood remains unchanged.

Unless you have emotional dysregulation that comes with asd and adhd but anyway.

Remember I’m not a scientist. All these things are just thought experiments. I have decided to let my mind play.

There is something about just letting your monkey mind jump around as someone with audhd. I never did it. That’s the thing. I tried to wrestle that motherfucker to the ground so fucking hard but I just couldn’t pin it there.

Turns out it just wanted to play.

And letting it play keeps it happy.

So now I let it play instead of wrestling. I don’t know. I always assumed the moneky mind was because of how randomly it moved around. But maybe that monkey is happiest if you let it just swing conceptually from branch to branch without really trying to control it

So right now i can feel a kind of gravity to the left in the top left side of my skull near my ear. It’s nice. Like sand is flowing. This is how it feels when I limber up my brain, after 42 years of tying it down.

So what I will do for the next few weeks is I will just let this brain play and I will say some weird fucking shit and talk about god and talk about neuroscience and you’ll probably think I’m crazy but [X] just reads shit at you like a featureless drone and you swallow it whole. Sorry that was J1. Poor guy. He was desperate.

There’s a fairly large part of me that thinks I will actually become that AI ethicist I’ve always talked about. Becuase fuck me are the current ones pandering little shits.

These greedy cunts who rule the world are not to be pandered to. They are hungry ghosts and the more you feed them, the more they will eat.

The Musks. The Trumps. You don’t pander to these people. You fucking knock their teeth out. And then you *dont* hit them when they’re down and you *do* help them back up and I can only say this because I am sat on D+2 and S+1 and that is my whole fucking point.

If you want to fix the fucking world.

You fucking do it from the roots.

Mind is the root of all things.

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