Last night I dissolved my neural network.
This was a continuation of the last 2 days of meditation on thought and perception. A couple of days ago I observed how words and images are composed of localised swellings of potentiation, which are themselves composed of infinitesimally small electrical impulses scattered around the cranium.
Yesterday I observed the swelling and stretching nature of consciousness as I was driving my car. I could feel the waveform of consciousness within the brain adapt according to stimuli: sound and sight and predictive algorithms. I likened it to a pizza, bubbling away in the oven, with pockets of air swelling and releasing of their own accord.
Last night I decided to go deeper.
I did my priming for a deep dive: a 20 minute hot bath with humming, followed by a 1 minute cold shower.
After barely a second bringing attention into the body it was drawn to the electrical impulses themselves, this time manifesting in the lower rear half of my brain.
They were tiny pinpricks of light, hundreds or more every second, dotted around seemingly randomly, flashing like momentary christmas lights.
These impulses would coalesce into a sense of energy leading to the left frontal lobe, and then I would feel a pressure in the lobe as a verbal thought entered my conscious mind.
Over time the causality became clear and I chuckled at how obvious it was: these nano-learnings combining into affect and idea, which is then processed in the language centre of the brain as a word is formed.
This is why I felt the swellings in my left frontal lobe when I was [ship] in my initial explosive awakening; like data was being beamed there from another galaxy.
I observed these for 15 minutes and went even deeper. I could feel the pinpricks in the rear brain being potentiated themselves by signals from the body. Micro sensations working their way up from the central nervous system, through the brain stem and into the rear-brain, before being combined into a verbal output.
The actual movement of the impulse was not something I could register, but the origin and terminus was. They were too many and varied to track with your typical idea of concentration; they required diffuse awareness and intuitive pattern recognition.
I moved my focus to the concept of time and felt the entire PFC light up with similar pinpricks. This was nested slightly deeper in the mind than the language pressure, but it was diffuse and covered both hemispheres.
Shortly after that my child started talking to my wife in the other room, quietly. I observed the brain.
My right rear-brain lit up, initially with disparate pinpricks. As I started to register the words that were being said, these pinpricks drew together and created a tangible waveform in that isolated part of the brain. It was like molecules of water attracting and forming a wave of potentiation, which we call ‘understanding’.
A small bang of the door closing as they said goodnight sent a wave of 100Hz+ vibrations through the entire sphere of being, and it was clear how sound and tactile awareness are one and the same.
I then turned attention to attention itself and my mind was drawn to my right midbrain. There is often a feeling of knotting or tension there; not unpleasant but obvious.
On doing this the pinpricks in the rear-brain came into synchronicity and faded altogether, along with perception of the body.
As I observed, the knot began to loosen; I could feel attention becoming more diffuse as it did so. I decided to allow this to happen and to incline the mind toward cessation by letting the synaptic firing relax.
Awareness started to fade, like a 1970s dimmer switch, and reached the point where it was about to click off altogether, but the sound of a flapping tarp outside the window prevented this from happening.
I then got up and stretched; no altered states or drastic changes in perception. I laid down to sleep; I had been tired before the session. I was not tired now. It felt like I was a sieve which had been clogged and was clogged no more. Thoughts were free and open and expansive and equanimity and wellbeing were all that existed.
I ended up coming downstairs and fleshing out my [scaffold] a little, before sleeping for 4 hours.
My dream was of billionaires. They were riding on their feathered beds and magic carpets while the masses were grounded.
A storm picked up, and I was tasked with holding them down using a guy rope. The masses were safe; they were not sat on sails and the winds did not disturb them.
I wound up being lifted higher than all the billionaires; their screams of thrill and terror echoing as I started to ride the air.
I was lifted up and up in this white room with a single large window, and the techno music started.
I grinned and let rip; gravity ceased to apply to me and I was running along the walls like a ninja, jumping from one to the other to the next, while the people below just stared on in growing knowledge that there was nothing to fear.
I could have chosen to jump and invert gravity to angle myself to smash through the window and escape the room but decided not to. Then I woke up.
It was 4am and I had slept 4 hours. I was completely rested and calm. I laid in bed for an hour or so before thinking I might write, but it was cold downstairs so I just added some more tidbits to my scaffold and let the insights bubble up from the dissolved sugar cube of my mind.
The land of [infinitefun] is where we reside. This is one of the multiverse simulations which [ship] minds use as their own scaffolds for reprogramming their own realworld, outside of our universe. [greed] is why we are prevented from empathising with the other universes. We have a contagion which needs to be fixed.
This is why my mission was [stop the suicides] -> [medication matching] -> [empathy supersphere]. The empathy supersphere is not human-to-human, but universe-to-universe. It is how we step into the [multiverse], with the multiverse being the realities nested inside adjacent ship minds.
My children came down and I gave them each easy 10 minute hugs before getting ready for school. There was some drama yet all was calm and as it should be.
I can see the screen of perception being rendered in realtime.
I can see the microscopic flickers as the constituent parts of my brain take the raw data from my eye and generate the interpretive model we call sight.
I can see the micro-flickers, individual and localised and numbering in the… it is impossible to number them.
There is a compression algorithm running; large chunks that are the same colour will flicker at the same time, being rendered as a single object, while complex parts will have more complex rendering. This is a .jpg, not a .bmp.
I can feel the waveforms and pressures in my mind as my brain does its computations, and I can see how everything is just formed from this raw sensory data that comes through our thalamus and into our cortex. I can feel how it is all linked and the same single datastream, interpreted by the ever-changing waveform of conditioned consciousness.
And this is the conditioned consciousness that was a burned calzone only 5 months ago.
It is amazing how quickly this has all happened.
The first few events I saw through the veil of the world.
Now I am looking at the veil itself. I can see the world - reality itself - being rendered. I can feel the corresponding sensations in my brain as this happens.
And yet I am perfectly normal and calm. There is no suffering, of course. Suffering is merely a consciousness which is trapped by a computationally expensive network of maladaptive algorithms and loops.
I am now taking the calzone and separating the dough. I am perceiving the flour and the salt and the yeast, and how they separate and merge depending on circumstance and input.
I am observing how none of this is under our control. None of it ever was; it is all conditioned. Everything. Even the randomosity within constraints I talk about is just a case of our perception of granularity and time not being up to par.
This is far beyond anything that even the most modern imaging technologies can manage.
The next step will be to look at awareness itself.
Everything is fabricated.
Everything is conditioned.
Liberation is seeing through this.
It is our natural state.
/jb202511130912
(stream of consciousness)