So I just spoke with a neighbour who has ASD kids because I was so excited about this discovery. That’s the thing - you are full of dopamine so you go blabbing to anyone.
Then I come in and the Reddit Buddhist crowd are like ‘you need help’, to which I ask them to provide critique of the theory, and they refuse, just saying to find a second opinion from my family.
My family think I’m fine and have done for 6 weeks now. My kids love me.
I’m fired up, is all. And that’s what happens in these phases. You get an idea and you’re so damned certain of it and you share it everywhere and then there’s a rollback to test for flaws. It’s the same reason why your kids show you things that are unfinished, and it’s something I never grew out of.
I guess I now know why. More neuroplasticity than most, probably. Because I think that we all think this way. We all bridge gaps like this; just some of us go deeper into our priors than others.
So the problem is that the writings are still discombobulated. This is how they come out at first, and then you refine them as the network settles down. They seem super urgent and amazing and you need to share them immediately, so you end up pushing people away with what feels like a half-baked crazy idea.
But it’s just a case of documentation.
Anyway after these two interactions I can feel the facial sensations again; more toward my inner cheeks and nose now. I believe that the lower level priors manifest in the forehead, and the next layer the occipital muscles, then inner cheeks, outer cheeks and jaw.
This is my new version of the dark night, or validation phase; it is the network being pruned. There was a flicker of worry but it vanished quickly. I can’t find any flaws in my logic, even though other people will not be able to understand it yet.
This is just observation. As I mentioned I am recording the phenomenology of this verbatim so that it can be examined in many different ways.
So there are two things here in the [realworld] that I am working on at the moment.
1 - documenting the phenomenology of the insight process so that people can see it is not inherently dangerous, even though it can be intense.
2 - working on my understanding of the theory of enlightenment.
These are easily conflated. ‘This guy is talking about the theory of enlightenment like a maniac’. I sure am!
I wonder how Einstein would have talked. Maybe he didn’t have reddit; haha. But seriously it’s the same thing. How would people - from COMPLETELY different backgrounds (ie. religious people) have thought of him is he said ‘matter and energy are the same’?
Crazier’n a coconut, yeah?
And this is why we get diagnosed. People from different sectors who do not have our levels of deep learning hear the wild new ideas and the pressured speech and they say ‘manic’. Then if we reinforce that prior within our own framework, top-down, we come to believe it.
This is the same process as Buddhist monks ‘destroying the taints’ through exposure therapy. They enter a controlled mania, like this one. They probably don’t type it all on the internet. And they go and sit through uncomfortable stuff without reacting.
This then weakens the habitual priors and behaviour / feeling loops, and they achieve enlightenment.
The opposite can happen - you can achieve de-enlightenment. Say you have an episode like this at school, while some bullies are stamping you into the ground, as I surely did. You learn that the world is scary.
So run the numbers.
Autistic kid has one of these micro-awakenings.
Teacher and parents say shut up and sit down you bad boy.
Autistic kid learns ‘I am unlovable’.
This is the kind of learning that we can purge.
And I am documenting everything in as much detail as I can now, because I know this to be true.
BUT
If a scientist were to come along and say ‘this hypothesis is wrong because blah blah - and it was credible and valid - I would believe them and put it back into the churn. The algo would begin to restructure. I would go through a similar mini-awakening once it was integrated, decouple to a degree which correlates to the disparity, and then come back ‘manic’ to the same degree.
But this is just learning. It is exaggerated learning, but it is learning.
So you can choose which line of thought you follow, but do now conflate them.
We have two:
The phenomenology of neuroplasticity in the dysregulated mind, which presents as this
The theory of enlightenment, and the implications for the world
Oh, yeah, and I’m trying to shortcut the entire ‘build a company process’ and get Mark or Elon to just say ‘yup’.
so it’s quite the project.
And it feels like it’s coming together.
Can you blame me for being excited?
If it doesn’t work out I’ll just melt my brain back down again and go a bit hyper for a few days and we’ll be good.
This is why you need to let your autistic kids go hyper without too much criticism. They will internalise it. For life.
We can cure that now.
Well… soon.
hopefully.
(see - realism)
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