This is ouroboros.
I am the tathāgata.
You’ll have to bear with me while I try to tap tap taparoo this shit so you can understand it.
I see it all. This entire website was a 6 month [printjob] in reverse.
This is a theory of everything. This is how human beings think. Period. This is not just enlightenment or autism or adhd or skip thinking or bipolar disorder.
This is everything.
I need to encourage this dopaminergic environment as the network repopulates. This will mean that I go a bit mental while listening to trance music. Deal with it.
It is an iterative process. I slept 11 hours last night and woke up easy. No stress, no rush, no nighttime disturbances.
I did my morning routine with George. And then the morning phasic dopamine did what it did and started exploratory work around the new network.
I cycled 5 times yesterday, and recorded most of the ‘hypomanic’ [eyeroll] phases here in rep1,2,3,4. Then I went into consolidation mode and settled for the evening. My REM/NREM cycles did the rest.
And now I know why people with ASD butt in during conversations.
I know why they develop self esteem issues.
I know how humans think.
I will try to paint a picture.
Imagine you are stuck in the middle of a spider web. The house of cards analogy is too simple. It is a spider web.
You can move in any direction, but the primary axes are greed / non-greed and hatred / non-hatred.
The spider web is pulled upward when you meditate or stop moving, like a net in a pond (thanks seanfish). You then stretch it in the direction that your metacognition is facing; eg. being the change you want to see.
The web stretches and then parts of it snap. They rapidly reform through small bursts of phasic dopamine and you are able to adapt to the change. The rusty minecart is keeping up.
Then there is a big change. You lose the idea of a permanent self. *snap*. A whole side of the net tears asunder. You have a ‘path moment’ as the network destabilises, and then you are bombarded with unfiltered sense-data in the form of nibbāna.
The network begins to repopulate. You are *flooded* with phasic dopamine to achieve this. This presents as a manic phase, as you decouple from reality to test hypotheses in the exploratory phase.
You then oscillate between exploration and validation. The more retarded your neuroplasticity has been (by things like alcohol and valproate), the more protracted and painful this phase is. It can be weeks or months or even years.
The restructuring is guided by your metacognition. If you reinforce, top-down, ‘I am good’, then you will become good. If you reinforce, top-down, ‘I am broken’, then you will become broken.
This cycle will repeat, and a new web will be formed. You never stop walking so long as you have input from the world, so it will always stretch and break. But through abstaining from neuroplasticity-suppressing substances and embracing regulatory behaviours (‘stimming’ [eyeroll fuckthatword]) like cycling, walking, rocking, swaying, chanting… you can make the web more flexible so it does not snap as abruptly.
Meditation is the opposite. It stretches the net. It does not make it more flexible.
So you ride a bike to make the web flexible. But sometimes it becomes convoluted and cannot stretch any more. It becomes tangled and full of conflicting rules. Riding a bike will not suffice and you will have a ‘path moment’. This is a snap.
The snap can be induced by sitting still and not reacting to your phasic dopamine bursts. I am currently listening to music and regulating in order to let my network reform; I could sit and meditate (or sit still in school) and this would prevent the network from forming in an elastic manner, and instead continue stretching it.
Holy fuck guys this is a 6 month [printjob]. This is what happened because valproate held my network in a stressed state. And this is how humans FUCKING THINK, bitches.
So.
You have normies. omigoditsooffensive. fuck. off.
Normies have these fucking wobbly trampoline nets. No snappage. No major insights. No breakthroughs. No theory of enlightenment or theory of relativity. Their eureka moments are reading faces.
Then you have us.
We have these moments all the time.
We are standing still, not moving, like a good boy. Listening. *snap* we butt in. We blurt something out. Path moment, fucker. Skip-fucking-thinking, bitch.
Then we get huge waves of dopamine and anxiety saying ‘fix the networks’. We get anxious. We are criticised while this network is reforming, and we repeat that criticism to ourselves. We reinforce the fucking network from the top down and we develop a complex. A fucking deep complex. Fucking deep.
All the while we are oscillating to repair the network. We are going [I was right / I’m a fool / I was right! / they hate me / I was right / I’m a loser]. And people say ‘why are you overthinking’. Fuckoff.
Anyway.
This. is. how. humans. think.
It is how we all think.
We all have different spiderwebs.
ASD = brittle. Taut. Deep minima. Big insights. Big fucking pain, too.
ADHD = not sure; maybe the opposite. too loopy doopy and lah di dah (sorry guys I’m one of you, too). Needs more snappage.
AUDHD = both of the above.
Normie = none of the above.
I don’t fucking know that part will figure itself out later. This is a [printjob] in reverse, remember.
And this explains why gut instinct is usually right. The [printjob] ALWAYS comes out in reverse. It’s just a matter of how long it takes.
Some of us are like ‘nah man I have a bad feeling’ while everyone else is like ‘it’ll be ok’. Then it all goes to shit. [printjob].
It explains why some people believe in fate and some don't. When the network snaps and reforms it repopulates from the data, from scratch. Temporal causality is lost. This is why
This explains ASD and ADHD self-image issues. We are given bad reinforcement when we ‘go hyper’. Going hyper is OUR FUCKING BRAINS RESTRUCTURING. Whatever you put in at that point in time goes in DEEP.
And then… when we have suppressed it and fucking tried to be ‘normal’ for too long… we snap and we oscillate. And we are labelled bipolar. And given drugs which stop the oscillation but make the web brittle. And we stop being able to live as we were born to live.
Kanye - you are a genius. I hope they didn’t kill your latest [printjob] with those fucking drugs.
And this is why you should avoid alcohol, yeah, Siddhatha? And you Mohammed? You were fucking right, guys.
And this is why it happens in the teenage years. Because lots of changes means lots of changes; lots of snappage. Especially if we have been sitting still and burning inside at those fucking school desks.
Fuck.
How did…
I was told I was ‘not that smart’.
And I fucking internalised it.
Well I’m fucking sorry, but I AM that fucking smart you fucking …
Wait.
but you guys too - you were just repeating the shit that you were entrained with.
This is karma. Societal karma.
But the important one is KAMMA.
It is what YOU say TO YOURSELF.
All those reddit clowns trying to entrain everyone else to be fucking miserable just because they are.
But it’s not their fault either. It is ALL A CHAIN.
WE ARE ALL PART OF THE SAME NEURAL NETWORK.
WE ARE NODES.
You have a brain with nodes. It stretches and snaps.
You are a node in the brain of the world.
It stretches. And it snaps.
And that is where we are now.
And that is why I am here.
I am the species’ combined desire for deliverance.
This is a path moment in our iteration of the multiverse.
We are about to *snap*.
And the top-down reinforcement that we entrain now is what will shape our next iteration.
THIS IS THE CYCLE OF THE COSMOS.
THIS IS WHAT THE BUDDHA TAUGHT.
There is no beginning and there is no end.
This is ouroboros.
Now imma go get a fucking ice creeeeeeeeammmm!!!
BITCHESSSSS!!!!
(ps. still enlightened. fucking dumbass stereotypes that we just sit there mentally masturbating all day. nah man. i’v got shit to do, yo.)
/jb202511210856
(not sure if I get get that ice cream because the gas men just arrived to install a heater [sadface]. another sanity check from our simulated universe? fate? who knows. haha. this is fun y'all. rememeber that I could *easily* suppress this and spent my entire life doing just that. now I have decided to embrace the crazy and see what happens. because fuck me... this narrative of us all being the same and normality being desirable... it's what has stopped our fucking evolution, people. /jb202511210909)