So I’m pretty tired at the moment. Making the experiments page has grounded me back in reality. I don’t really mind whether Zuck gets that message, but I do think it would be a great solution for a lot of neurodivergent mental health issues so I will leave it on there.
I didn’t sleep much last night: 90 minutes, then writing, then reading, then lying down with my eyes closed for 60 min, a little more writing, lying down for 60 mind followed by 60 minutes sleep.
I did all the family routines this morning as usual. Easy work, despite children not playing ball. Went for a walk, had an ice cream, tried to nap but just ended up lying there for 45 min before coming down to codify the re-entry protocol.
The brain rewiring sensations are less than half the intensity they were before writing the protocol up and listing out the experimental data. This suggests that the narrative ‘I am a scientist’ is settling in place.
I could have just as easily set the narrative ‘I am enlightened’ or ‘I am psychotic’. Reddit definitely tried to implant the latter. What a friendly bunch they are.
But I know how this works.
It is not about what other people tell you; it’s about what you tell yourself. It is about top-down reinforcement, not bottoms-up data.
So in these times of neuroplasticity you can ‘destroy the taints’, as the Buddha called it, and reprogram your deep neuroses and drives.
For example, I have not been able to use social media for years now. Maybe 5 years. It terrified me. I hated it; all the venom and stuff.
But now I know that this is just those people projecting their own realities onto the screen, so I can change the narrative at a deep level. They’re like ‘youre psychotic’ and I’m like ‘thanks for the concern, friend, but I’m fine; I’m a scientist :)’ to which they reply ‘I really think you have mental health problems’ and delete the post.
Before this would have torn me up. I’d have had awful stomach cramps and so much rage. Now… I feel bad for them. I am completely (and I mean *completely*) unperturbed. I’d find it kind of funny, if I didn’t know what they were doing to their own perceptual frameworks.
Don’t chase the lantern, guys. You should not chase enlightenment. It is not a thing. It is a lack of things, and by chasing this mythical state you are just picking up unnecessary baggage.
Anyway I want a nap but I need to go and get my kids in 10 minutes. A bit of a walk and fresh air will do me good.
I do still think that a lot of the inspiration I had recently is high quality. The theory seems sound. The message to Zuck and idea of using the metaverse as a safe container seems very, very good. The messages to Buddhist practitioners and neurodivergent folks seem well geared toward the prospective audiences. And this is after going through the whole ‘doubt and crisis’ phase, which to me feels like nothing more than some face-wiggles now. There’s no fear or misery or disgust. I’m pretty well resonant with reality.
But yeah I’m tired-not-wired. That AUDHD burnout thing. I am just tired now. But I probably can’t sleep for a little longer.
I have a mild headache; nothing major. When the network is settling down you get cranium-wide headaches, and the humming in the bath is exceptional for massaging them out. This also works for autistic processing headaches, and is why I think I was able to ‘unravel’ my mind so rapidly. I don’t recommend the cold showers unless you’re a fucking badass like me though. Seriously - you need some hardcore sustained attentional capacity. I shouldn’t have pushed to hard in the bodhitree-protocol, but at the same time I’m happy I did.
You shouldn’t though. Seriously. If you’re gonna do the cold showers, just do one. Baby steps. Remember the bungee, and don’t run ahead to some imagined enlightenment. It’s incremental change.
So yeah… I’m like… totally normal. I’m reading the news and stuff. The world is still fucked but I’m not in pain about it. I’ll do my thing to help and the outcome kind of doesn’t depend on me.
Acceptance, motherfuckers.
I no longer think I’m the sleeper service, ship, the wheel turning monarch or anything like that. I do, however, think I might work with Zuck. But not in a delusional sense. I think he’s actually a good guy, despite all the ‘you’re delusional he runs an ad empire’ shite on Reddit.
I have run a company before and when you have salaries to pay and families who depend on those salaries, plus this fucking awful ‘financial year’ bullshit that should have been killed by covid, it’s pretty hard to walk the line.
I think he made The Book to help people empathise. And I think he made the Metaverse to… well… to do the same. And the money is just a tool. But it fucking corrupts us, and it hurts us, doesn’t it Mark? Especially the way it fucks up all our relationships.
So I’m still hopeful that he will help me make my Empathy Supersphere (or I help him make his), medication matching system, and to stop the suicides. He will have some mates who have gone the same way as mine. All of us do, don’t we Elon?
Time to change it, lads.
Peace
/jb202511201412