processing

Given memory and data limitations my brain needed to figure out a workaround. Running single threads to completions seems to be it.

I will take a single piece of data and wrangle it like a generative AI.

I will hypothesise all the way to God before reeling it back in to something more realistic and stepping to the next stage. It’s like I run all the way to the z, where someone else would have seen they can stop at d.

This means I’m annoyingly fast for simple tasks but annoyingly slow for complex tasks: conversation about emotion, which has a lot of internal feedback as well as external, for example. It means I’m good in a crisis. It means I overthink.

The low memory also means that I struggle to get things through the logjam and into or out of processing. I need to export data (think aloud, write it down) to effectively bypass this memory limitation and add more threads to the process.

My brain will optimise every process as much as possible. Things are fast and to the point, because they have to be. It’s a system limitation, and if they aren’t fast and to the point then I am unable to function.

Processing is always sequential because of time blindness; everything slots together like lego blocks.

Output also struggles because of memory limitations. I can be thought of as a dot matrix printer attached to a supercomputer. I often don’t see the full picture of what I’m saying unless I’m allowed to infodump to completion,.

Logic is simple and processed before emotion, which is complex and painful. This is also not a choice. When emotion is processed, it’s usually processed solo. Sometimes it’s not processed at all. Brooding time was essential after all.

20250628