[alteredstate]
I’ve come to think of my thought process like a person on a loom, warping and weaving.
The steel wool is the observations of the world; the rules being absorbed in real time. They get too convoluted after a while and I need to optimise; the feeling of ‘steel wool’ is what I call memory overload; like an angle grinder behind the cheekbones.
I need to use something physical to spin this mess out into coherent threads. A repetitive action like running or making knives.
I can feel the wool coalesce into a single thread which my brain can spool and handle. This thread often goes back into the churn to be spun with more threads.
Once the process completes, things start to be woven together. Here a red, there a blue, and a coherent and often surprising image forms.
That image goes back into the churn, the wool spins, I warp, I weave.
And this process just continues until I’m done. I’ll look up with surprise and realise it’s finished and there’s no more wool. I have the answer, or some approximation thereof.
This is how I think. You could call it cycles of diverging and converging. I was unaware of it until recently.
Maybe I can only use the reds and the blues, but I'm very good with them.
I like the weaver analogy. I can see individual threads and I can feel or intuit when they are in the right place. But I usually don’t see the picture until it’s done.
20250619 0935