So that was interesting. I think I just spotted a way to track human thought through the synapse and body by radioactively marking aripiprazole. [ skip down to next post]

It just fell out of me, thanks to ari. Same as the unvalidated audhd stuff before, which was the foundation. It has all built on itself to this point.

And we are at dopamine.

The most fundamental.

And now we can analyse and begin to monitor and track and build. Because I’m confident in this even if…. dude its 2am they’re asleep.

Anyway this is huge. An actual eureka moment. And I feel really relaxed, like everything is easy, because I’ve reached the end of the 5 days come-up period for ari, I think. Not black and white of course.

And like clockwork, out dropped an idea. I think the ari kind of… pooled in the synapses where my thoughts had gotten stuck over the last few decades. I think it pooled there and then acted like a laxative to flush them out, and once the final synapse was lined up and we had our model for tracking dopamine through the body - whoosh.

An easy orgasmic waterfall of silken smooth beanball beans, infinitesimally small and billions in number, all funnelling down these sand funnels in my mind, to a single conclusion which is: here’s how.

And then I’m up.

So this is part drug and part me.

I think the drug is acting like a brush to scrape the synapses clear of junk. I also think it builds up during the come up phase and releases like this, and I believe that this is what catharsis is. This is why all the trauma processing and wracking sobs, and the synaptic realignment when it releases. The dopamine runs and straight and true course right through that shit.

Where is this shit coming from. I just absorbed audiobooks to deal with my own trauma.

Anyway.

That’s where we are,

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research [I'll rewrite this later - things always come out messy]

So yeah there’s an actual chance that I’m feeling genuine dopamine.

Sorry - ari. But I have felt this before, in the tension in my face. What I had never felt before was the release of the sand.

I would hazard a guess that the ari is ever so slightly larger a molecule than dopamine, so I can feel it scraping the sides. I think it might literally ‘clean’ the synapse of broken dopamine fragments on its way out or something. My niece died of battens disease and … wow maybe this could have saved her. Anyway that gh isn’t useful so drop.

But I actually think that this ari might be repairing the synapse, which is why some people say they take it for 3 months and just stop and that’s it.

Maybe this is the dopamine detox people need.

Do not try the med.

I can feel it coalesce though.

So in the joints it’s nice. It’s like those sponge balls inside bean bags, 1mm tiny ones, all sliding around. I’m sliding my legs around rn and my hips feel so nice.

With thoughts though… orgasmic. Absolutely orgasmic when you get a really, really challenging thought that grabs multiple parts of your brain and then they all line up and it’s just like a marble run for all these trillions of beanbag balls as they float and slide and drain effortlessly down into your body.

This sounds like an actual, valid movement route for dopamine. Someone else can check. So it flows. Lovely.

I think we are nearing stead state and can start the science. I’ll sleep later.

The obvious extension would be to radioactively mark the ari so that you can track its motion within the brain, then put me in the most powerful scanner around and have me play celeste…? No. Too simple. Have me skip think. Do anything.

Dopamine is literally thought, so if you could mark ari and track it, you could LITERALLY track a thought through someone’s brain and into their body.

Is this an entirely new field of researh?

This is so fucking cool.

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