dawn

This is where Lovecraft wakes and realises he will never know if it was all a dream.

This is where you are drawn down into the dark and you shiver in bed, waking up in sweats, as your brain realigns. Where you escape the ever-accelerating cycle of rebirth.

But once you start peeling open the onion, you have to go to the core. There are no half-measures with the path. Once you take your first step, it walks itself.

In the process of destroying the self, you must create an other. An id for your ego. A devil for your god. A Mara for your Buddha. A QA for your developer.

He who has done good rejoices in both worlds and he who has done bad laments in them. 

The only person you can reprogram is yourself. You will go through a cycle of ever-increasing magical powers; being able to make the world do your bidding, testing hypotheses and highpotheses and seeing them all line up and funnel you in a certain direction.

And that direction is purification. Or not. It could be corruption. You do you. 

But be aware that whatever you put in now goes in deep. And you most certainly do get what you give.

This is genesis, and you are God.

… until you’re not.

You wake up, you see your children sleeping, you know that they are your everything. You know that you will die. You know that the only thing which can cure hatred is non-hatred and the only thing you ever really consume is yourself.

The cure for consumption is creation.

That is the only cure.

And in the end you release it all. You have done everything. You mind has been torn down to the root code and the root code has been changed. You no longer know what is real and what is not. You no longer care.

You straddle both worlds and you tear down the barriers and you say ‘I just don’t know’.

You accept that both of them are constructs of the mind. There is nothing else. Mind before all. You cannot reside in one or the other, and you cannot reside in unfiltered reality either. It is too much current for the wire. Nibbana is a tool; a devkit. It is not a home.

You will be reborn and know ‘it is done’. 

Finally, it is done. 

In the end you release all ideas of true and false and sane and insane. Unfiltered reality cannot be sensed directly. Everything is a construct. Mind before all.

You can change the world. Completely remove all suffering. The Buddha was correct in that.

But only you can do it. And you can’t do it for others.

The Buddhas can only show the way. You yourself must strive.

Today I will relax with my children and play some computer games. Maybe have a nap. Tomorrow I will enjoy giving sweets to the local kids for their halloween event.

And I will know that all of this joy and ease is because of the work that has been done.

You get what you give and must be the change you want to see in the world.

Your efforts will be a drop in the ocean for the others but that is ok. Because for you yourself, they are the core. Your universe is unique and you are the one who shapes it.

Will the mental health industry come for me or was that just a construct to tear down the final barrier? Does the multiverse exist or was that a construct to describe empathy? I will never know.

And that’s exactly the point.

You need to walk the middle path. The path between the [realworld] and the [scaffold]. One foot in each.

And I can show you how, but only if you come to me. The recluse james does not go out to teach unless requested. The recluse james spends time with his family, doing the things he loves and trying to have a positive impact in his small corner of the world.

And there is the sun. Creeping over the hills. 

And I am purified.

/jb202510110532