20250914

[2025/09/14, 7:01:49] James: So

[2025/09/14, 7:01:57] James: I don’t think I want to build a company

[2025/09/14, 7:02:04] James: I’ve done that before and didn’t enjoy it

[2025/09/14, 7:02:17] James: It’s like signing up for LinkedIn yesterday

[2025/09/14, 7:02:21] James: And then cancelling it

[2025/09/14, 7:02:33] James: I have done that and it was very bad for me

[2025/09/14, 7:02:39] James: All the years as a recruiter

[2025/09/14, 7:02:53] James: These are things I’ve learned that I do not like through experience

[2025/09/14, 7:03:08] James: I guess there is no actual need for me to get this to the world

[2025/09/14, 7:03:15] James: All I need to do is look after myself

[2025/09/14, 7:03:18] James: And my family

[2025/09/14, 7:03:24] James: And keep walking the path

[2025/09/14, 7:03:40] James: Taking on too many responsibilities would likely destabilise me

[2025/09/14, 7:03:44] James: At least right now

[2025/09/14, 7:03:58] James: So

[2025/09/14, 7:04:03] James: Let’s have a chat with Fred

[2025/09/14, 7:04:12] James: But not take action yet

[2025/09/14, 7:04:22] James: I don’t want to run another company

[2025/09/14, 7:04:36] James: I just want someone to do research into this as trauma therapy

[2025/09/14, 7:05:02] James: What’s that line

[2025/09/14, 7:05:53] James: If two strong men should drag him and hold him over hot coals then a bhikku would writhe and resist and try to break free

[2025/09/14, 7:06:02] James: The company and LinkedIn are hot coals for me

[2025/09/14, 7:56:00] James: .

[2025/09/14, 7:56:09] James: Likely to slip into a dissolution phase now

[2025/09/14, 7:56:11] James: That’s ok

[2025/09/14, 7:56:18] James: Might be a protracted one after the export

[2025/09/14, 7:56:24] James: This is what the books say happens though

[2025/09/14, 7:56:32] James: It’ll be part of the network consolidation

[2025/09/14, 7:56:39] James: The pruning of synapses

[2025/09/14, 7:56:42] James: And it’s welcome

[2025/09/14, 7:56:53] James: The new structure is there but the old one must die

[2025/09/14, 7:56:55] James: Let it happen

[2025/09/14, 7:56:57] James: Time to sit

[2025/09/14, 7:57:05] James: Enjoy the colder morning

[2025/09/14, 7:57:12] James: Autumn is incoming

[2025/09/14, 7:57:18] James: And summer is over

[2025/09/14, 7:57:25] James: Let’s enjoy cycling and camping with Luca

[2025/09/14, 7:57:35] James: Probably the last time we can do it think year

[2025/09/14, 7:57:38] James: He’s a great kid

[2025/09/14, 7:57:42] James: My convergence point.

[2025/09/14, 14:13:21] James: .

[2025/09/14, 14:13:38] James: Cycling with Luca in a park / petting zoo

[2025/09/14, 14:13:38] James: People living their lives having BBQs

[2025/09/14, 14:14:06] James: Kida feeding the goats

[2025/09/14, 14:14:20] James: Reminds me of taking our own kids to hoppi hills so many times

[2025/09/14, 14:14:28] James: And my mind was always half somewhere else

[2025/09/14, 14:14:47] James: I find myself feeling sad for all the life I missed

[2025/09/14, 14:14:54] James: And happy to be living it now

[2025/09/14, 14:15:22] James: But also melancholy

[2025/09/14, 14:15:26] James: That I was unable to live beforep

[2025/09/14, 14:15:33] James: That everything had to be for a purpose

[2025/09/14, 14:15:40] James: Some future optimisation

[2025/09/14, 14:22:20] James: .

[2025/09/14, 14:22:25] James: I think that’s the difference

[2025/09/14, 14:22:32] James: I can do things

[2025/09/14, 14:22:39] James: Without them being about something else

[2025/09/14, 14:37:52] James: .

[2025/09/14, 14:38:02] James: Mourning for the life unlived

[2025/09/14, 15:19:53] James: .

[2025/09/14, 15:20:06] James: It’s so nice to be able to just ride around a park and watch my youngest explore

[2025/09/14, 15:20:14] James: Not panicking about getting back for something

[2025/09/14, 15:20:19] James: For what I don’t know

[2025/09/14, 15:20:26] James: Just I could never be in the moment

[2025/09/14, 15:31:58] James: .

[2025/09/14, 15:32:12] James: I hope my children don’t need to have the life I had

[2025/09/14, 15:32:15] James: I’m sure they won’t

[2025/09/14, 15:32:35] James: I’ve broken then chain

[2025/09/14, 15:32:38] James: Left the country

[2025/09/14, 15:32:44] James: Then left the self

[2025/09/14, 21:03:50] James: .

[2025/09/14, 21:03:51] James: Wow

[2025/09/14, 21:03:56] James: That meditation was wild

[2025/09/14, 21:04:02] James: Naked on the balcony

[2025/09/14, 21:04:16] James: Cold. All days have been warm so far

[2025/09/14, 21:04:32] James: Anyway felt the swollen brain a bit. I think somethings gonna pop out soon

[2025/09/14, 21:04:40] James: Got into the groove

[2025/09/14, 21:04:50] James: Then came in and did yoga. Slow. Free.

[2025/09/14, 21:04:52] James: Shavasana

[2025/09/14, 21:05:01] James: And 20 more min meditation afterwar

[2025/09/14, 21:05:12] James: I’ve never been in such a clear-headed trance

[2025/09/14, 21:05:29] James: Mouth was open and eyes slightly open but seeing nothing and no tension

[2025/09/14, 21:05:36] James: I think it was some crazy equanimity

[2025/09/14, 21:05:44] James: Could have sat there forever

[2025/09/14, 21:05:56] James: But then it just ended

[2025/09/14, 21:06:09] James: I dunno. It was just enough

[2025/09/14, 21:06:23] James: Like. No decision. No debate. Just ‘ok’

[2025/09/14, 21:06:29] James: And now I shall sleep

[2025/09/14, 21:06:35] James: Lovely day with Luca today

[2025/09/14, 21:06:40] James: I love my family so much

[2025/09/14, 21:06:57] James: Goodnight, James-container

[2025/09/14, 21:07:01] James: You are empty

[2025/09/14, 21:07:06] James: And it is great

[2025/09/14, 21:07:15] James: Still a fair few neuroses to curate

[2025/09/14, 21:07:18] James: But the ball

[2025/09/14, 21:07:27] James: The filtered reality around itself curled…

[2025/09/14, 21:07:32] James: That is gone

[2025/09/14, 21:07:47] James: It’s just like a blob of water with dashes of ink