20250921

[2025/09/21, 12:24:28] James: I find myself feeling a bit sad again

[2025/09/21, 12:24:34] James: About the lack of time with the children

[2025/09/21, 12:24:41] James: How limited it all is

[2025/09/21, 12:24:49] James: Everything is, really

[2025/09/21, 12:25:01] James: There’s no guarantee I will see them again

[2025/09/21, 12:25:10] James: The habit is to cling and try to hold on

[2025/09/21, 12:25:18] James: But I know that won’t work

[2025/09/21, 12:25:38] James: I know that will just cause me pain

[2025/09/21, 12:25:47] James: Is that greed, too?

[2025/09/21, 12:26:10] James: Like the butcher, cutting off the skin of the cow

[2025/09/21, 12:26:16] James: And putting the skin back on

[2025/09/21, 12:26:22] James: Is the skin still attached?

[2025/09/21, 12:26:28] James: It is not

[2025/09/21, 12:26:50] James: Is this sadness I feel about lack of time with the children the same as it previously was?

[2025/09/21, 12:26:54] James: That was more panicked

[2025/09/21, 12:26:59] James: This is more contemplative

[2025/09/21, 12:27:07] James: The falling away of delusion maybe

[2025/09/21, 12:27:12] James: But it doesn’t feel nice

[2025/09/21, 12:27:31] James: Hey!

[2025/09/21, 12:27:34] James: James!

[2025/09/21, 12:27:36] James: Cheer up!

[2025/09/21, 12:27:41] James: They are growing

[2025/09/21, 12:27:44] James: It is good

[2025/09/21, 12:27:48] James: You get to see them grow

[2025/09/21, 12:27:53] James: And you get to see them now

[2025/09/21, 12:28:02] James: They are your boys and they will continue

[2025/09/21, 12:28:07] James: Hopefully

[2025/09/21, 12:28:19] James: How do you remove attachment to your family?

[2025/09/21, 12:28:22] James: Should you?

[2025/09/21, 12:28:30] James: I don’t think so, not yet

[2025/09/21, 12:28:38] James: The attachment hurts though, doesn’t it

[2025/09/21, 12:28:53] James: Just observe it

[2025/09/21, 12:28:57] James: The boys will grow

[2025/09/21, 12:28:59] James: As will you

[2025/09/21, 12:29:19] James: And every moment you decrease these fetters is a moment well spent

[2025/09/21, 12:29:33] James: But being attached to your children in a healthy way is something you can allow

[2025/09/21, 12:29:45] James: ‘My only son, my only son, where are you’

[2025/09/21, 12:29:55] James: That sutta from the Buddha hit hard

[2025/09/21, 12:30:09] James: ‘Dear ones are the cause of sorrow, lamentation and grief’

[2025/09/21, 12:30:11] James: They are indeed

[2025/09/21, 12:30:18] James: But it’s worth the sorrow

[2025/09/21, 12:30:26] James: I wonder how my parents feel about me

[2025/09/21, 12:30:32] James: Now they know how much I suffered

[2025/09/21, 12:30:45] James: How well I hid it

[2025/09/21, 12:30:56] James: Just came across as a narcissist I guess

[2025/09/21, 12:31:32] James: Anyway

[2025/09/21, 12:31:42] James: Things are always changing

[2025/09/21, 12:31:45] James: Let it happen

[2025/09/21, 12:51:44] James: .

[2025/09/21, 12:51:55] James: I swear that higher tonic dopamine feels like silk in the joints

[2025/09/21, 12:52:02] James: Just after a walk I can feel it

[2025/09/21, 12:52:05] James: It’s so nice

[2025/09/21, 12:52:11] James: Just moving around, gliding

[2025/09/21, 12:52:17] James: Like after a good yoga session

[2025/09/21, 12:57:41] James: .

[2025/09/21, 12:57:54] James: So computer games are invigorating but leave you empty

[2025/09/21, 12:58:06] James: Always trying for the next target

[2025/09/21, 12:58:15] James: Obvious really

[2025/09/21, 12:58:21] James: That’s how they’re made

[2025/09/21, 16:44:53] James: .

[2025/09/21, 16:45:08] James: Feeling happy I walked around to spend the afternoon and dinner with my kids

[2025/09/21, 16:45:14] James: Nice conversation with my wife about empathy

[2025/09/21, 16:45:23] James: My view on the topic is pretty mature now

[2025/09/21, 16:45:33] James: One of my main awakenings I guess

[2025/09/21, 16:45:46] James: The people who need empathy are those who are branded unempathetic

[2025/09/21, 16:45:52] James: Basic mechanism is: dopamine!

[2025/09/21, 16:45:53] James: Yep

[2025/09/21, 16:45:57] James: Fast learning

[2025/09/21, 16:46:02] James: Rigid thought

[2025/09/21, 16:46:17] James: Almost trauma-level encoding by average brain standards

[2025/09/21, 16:46:31] James: Then because of this rigid thought they are branded unempathetic

[2025/09/21, 16:46:36] James: That becomes further trauma

[2025/09/21, 16:46:38] James: And off you go

[2025/09/21, 16:46:49] James: The priest doesn’t empathise

[2025/09/21, 16:46:59] James: He gives you absolution

[2025/09/21, 16:47:09] James: But in a standard conversation how would you interact?

[2025/09/21, 16:47:13] James: Would he empathise then?

[2025/09/21, 16:47:21] James: Many of them would likely just stay quiet

[2025/09/21, 16:47:30] James: Not gossip and say ‘oh how hard’

[2025/09/21, 16:47:45] James: We autistic fast learners whatever the fuck you want to call us

[2025/09/21, 16:47:55] James: We are traumatised by life, basically

[2025/09/21, 16:48:07] James: Our standard level of encoding is like you being mugged in a dark alley

[2025/09/21, 16:48:13] James: (Not black and white blah blah)

[2025/09/21, 16:48:44] James: But how do you expect us to empathise with the fact that one of your daisies has been stood on in your sunny field

[2025/09/21, 16:48:53] James: While we are looking around for potential attackers

[2025/09/21, 16:49:03] James: And then being called unempathetic? Argh

[2025/09/21, 16:49:05] James: Anyway

[2025/09/21, 16:49:14] James: Priest for the priests is what my awakening told me

[2025/09/21, 16:49:21] James: So I’ll just share the other side of the story

[2025/09/21, 16:49:30] James: Give people knowledge they aren’t alone

[2025/09/21, 18:11:17] James: .

[2025/09/21, 18:11:28] James: I wonder how many people stumble into an insight cycle

[2025/09/21, 18:11:29] James: Like me

[2025/09/21, 18:11:35] James: And are on the path to awakening

[2025/09/21, 18:11:39] James: And go to a doctor

[2025/09/21, 18:11:48] James: And are called bipolar and given valproate

[2025/09/21, 18:11:52] James: Become depressed

[2025/09/21, 18:12:02] James: And either grind to a halt or end their lives