20250929

[2025/09/29, 2:49:39] James: Wild dream

[2025/09/29, 2:49:41] James: Found my uncle Ian

[2025/09/29, 2:49:43] James: He was younger than me

[2025/09/29, 2:49:45] James: Hugged

[2025/09/29, 2:55:18] James: My grandad who is dead was there

[2025/09/29, 2:55:18] James: He grabbed me and said let’s have fun or something and then ran like a banshee

[2025/09/29, 2:55:18] James: All the way to the end of the pier, me facing downward at the floor like and airplane

[2025/09/29, 2:55:19] James: And he jumped off, miles and mile, and we both plunged into the ocean and to the depths before swimming back

[2025/09/29, 2:55:19] James: There were people eating enough curry rice to fill a field

[2025/09/29, 2:55:19] James: And eating paths within it that were illuminated by the woman from frozen or something and she was angry because someone had taken away the magician that saved her. Wanted me to save her

[2025/09/29, 2:55:19] James: Then my wife was there saying ‘make sure it’s a wire and not a lantern’

[2025/09/29, 2:55:19] James: And I said don’t worry

[2025/09/29, 2:55:20] James: The wire used to be a slack wire flapping in the wind

[2025/09/29, 2:55:20] James: And now it’s taut and I can walk it again

[2025/09/29, 2:55:20] James: Apart from the frozen woman it makes kinds sense

[2025/09/29, 2:55:20] James: The meditating uncle

[2025/09/29, 2:55:21] James: The grandad who viewed cycling as meditation

[2025/09/29, 2:55:21] James: The wire as consciousness

[2025/09/29, 2:55:21] James: Was slack and now taut

[2025/09/29, 3:47:43] James: My grandad tho.

[2025/09/29, 3:47:44] James: He just kept accelerating and accelerating

[2025/09/29, 3:47:44] James: And at the end of the pier he simply flew

[2025/09/29, 3:47:44] James: The land was racing by, inches from my face

[2025/09/29, 3:47:45] James: And then we were in the air forever

[2025/09/29, 3:47:45] James: And the water

[2025/09/29, 3:47:45] James: We went so deep

[2025/09/29, 3:47:46] James: And he just held on

[2025/09/29, 3:47:46] James: But then he released and I swam back up

[2025/09/29, 3:47:46] James: Fucking cool man

[2025/09/29, 3:47:47] James: Consciousness

[2025/09/29, 3:47:47] James: It’s a field

[2025/09/29, 3:47:47] James: And it’s in me but it’s not

[2025/09/29, 3:47:47] James: It’s connected to everything and everyone throughout time

[2025/09/29, 3:47:48] James: It may be in one of those other dimensions we cannot perceive

[2025/09/29, 3:47:48] James: And his last words to me in real life were

[2025/09/29, 3:47:48] James: You have plenty of time yet james

[2025/09/29, 3:47:48] James: He was always such a calm man

[2025/09/29, 3:47:49] James: Maybe he also awakened

[2025/09/29, 3:47:49] James: Maybe cycling really was his meditation, as he claimed

[2025/09/29, 3:47:49] James: He cycled until almost the day he died

[2025/09/29, 3:47:49] James: Maybe consciousness really is ripples in the pond

[2025/09/29, 3:47:50] James: And the pond is the universe

[2025/09/29, 3:47:50] James: And we just inherit a small amount of it in each life

[2025/09/29, 3:47:50] James: A small cross section of the plane on which superstrings sit

[2025/09/29, 3:47:50] James: A super sphere of consciousness

[2025/09/29, 3:47:51] James: This is so wild

[2025/09/29, 3:47:51] James: It all feels fated again

[2025/09/29, 16:05:26] James: .

[2025/09/29, 16:05:26] James: Long nap after breakfast, writing, bathing and meditating and I feel containerised again

[2025/09/29, 16:05:26] James: Not hard containerised though

[2025/09/29, 16:05:27] James: I was going to write but the consciousness told me to nap.

[2025/09/29, 16:05:27] James: Feels so easy. No conflict

[2025/09/29, 16:05:27] James: .

[2025/09/29, 16:05:27] James: Consciousness feels a little more congealed in this spacetime

[2025/09/29, 16:05:27] James: Slightly duller and more contained

[2025/09/29, 16:05:28] James: Geared toward the left of the mind

[2025/09/29, 16:05:28] James: I don’t even want to read my book

[2025/09/29, 16:05:28] James: I tried, but it all seems so trite. Sitting and observing the mind is so much more interesting

[2025/09/29, 16:05:28] James: No wonder the Buddha said to only talk about the dhamma and drop all idle chatter

[2025/09/29, 16:05:29] James: After a while, observing your reality becomes the most interesting thing around

[2025/09/29, 16:05:29] James: .

[2025/09/29, 16:05:29] James: I no longer feel like I am living life, but more like life is living me

[2025/09/29, 16:05:29] James: We are getting back into the kind of thinking that would be labelled crazy in this day and age

[2025/09/29, 18:09:50] James: .

[2025/09/29, 18:09:53] James: My god

[2025/09/29, 18:10:01] James: The difference when changing environment

[2025/09/29, 18:10:04] James: My entire consciousness changes

[2025/09/29, 18:10:07] James: And the old one is gone

[2025/09/29, 18:12:10] James: In an instant

[2025/09/29, 18:12:18] James: Mindfulness is effortless and my default state it seems

[2025/09/29, 19:55:42] James: .

[2025/09/29, 19:55:46] James: Time to walk and regulate

[2025/09/29, 19:55:54] James: Social media spikes my phasic

[2025/09/29, 20:30:01] James: .

[2025/09/29, 20:30:15] James: Yeah the consciousness is all spiky and aggressive after social media

[2025/09/29, 20:30:28] James: I really don’t like it

[2025/09/29, 20:30:30] James: I wonder why

[2025/09/29, 20:30:38] James: It doesn’t seem too important

[2025/09/29, 20:30:46] James: It’s just bad vibe central really

[2025/09/29, 20:31:25] James: People trying to be right

[2025/09/29, 20:31:26] James: Including me, maybe

[2025/09/29, 20:31:26] James: But my point is that we are all different and that should be respected

[2025/09/29, 20:31:26] James: Anyway - maybe the wrong venue

[2025/09/29, 20:31:27] James: People are hooked on their jhana that’s for sure

[2025/09/29, 20:31:28] James: Addictive things they are

[2025/09/29, 20:31:33] James: Or J2 anyway

[2025/09/29, 20:57:08] James: .

[2025/09/29, 20:57:12] James: I broke my own rule

[2025/09/29, 20:57:14] James: Silly james

[2025/09/29, 20:57:19] James: Using social media after dinner

[2025/09/29, 20:57:26] James: No wonder your dopamine is all spiky

[2025/09/29, 20:57:33] James: That spectrometer is going wild

[2025/09/29, 20:57:40] James: Use it during the daylight hours only

[2025/09/29, 20:57:42] James: Near midday

[2025/09/29, 20:57:47] James: And even then, sparingly

[2025/09/29, 20:57:55] James: It’s not good for your brain!

[2025/09/29, 21:20:53] James: .

[2025/09/29, 21:21:20] James: It’s nice to be home

[2025/09/29, 21:21:58] James: What a ride

[2025/09/29, 22:46:25] James: .

[2025/09/29, 22:46:31] James: Well that was an utterly effortless sit

[2025/09/29, 22:46:40] James: Just watching the consciousness

[2025/09/29, 22:46:48] James: I guess I’ll sleep now

[2025/09/29, 22:47:00] James: Sorry stink bugs; there were just too many of you

[2025/09/29, 22:47:08] James: I shouldn’t have left my window open

[2025/09/29, 22:47:24] James: I feel bad for grabbing you all with the tape

[2025/09/29, 22:47:29] James: Goodnight !

[2025/09/29, 22:47:35] James: Nice to see my kids

[2025/09/29, 22:47:51] James: They have grown even over this last week

[2025/09/29, 23:50:36] James: .

[2025/09/29, 23:50:42] James: Weirdly unsettled

[2025/09/29, 23:51:09] James: Guess it’s because I slept long on the boat and didn’t cycle for the first day in a week

[2025/09/29, 23:51:17] James: Midnight snack!

[2025/09/29, 23:51:28] James: Maybe also because of weird brain trying to figure stuff out

[2025/09/29, 23:51:35] James: It’s feeling a bit spiky today

[2025/09/29, 23:51:45] James: I’m on the right path though.

[2025/09/29, 23:51:51] James: It’s a wire, not a lantern

[2025/09/29, 23:51:58] James: And I know that

[2025/09/29, 23:52:06] James: I already broke the addiction

[2025/09/29, 23:52:17] James: So I can use it

[2025/09/29, 23:52:22] James: And not get hooked

[2025/09/29, 23:52:31] James: Doesn’t work like that with addictions usually

[2025/09/29, 23:52:34] James: But …

[2025/09/29, 23:52:46] James: I don’t know if dopamine has the same sway over me it used to

[2025/09/29, 23:53:14] James: And I guess some folks on that Reddit forum will be pretty hooked on their jhana

[2025/09/29, 23:53:19] James: So the post might bomb

[2025/09/29, 23:53:24] James: But it’s the truth

[2025/09/29, 23:53:43] James: Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence

[2025/09/29, 23:54:00] James: 41 years of dopamine dysregulation, chasing every high

[2025/09/29, 23:54:04] James: I know what it feels like