fieldcollapse

So I can sit and get into a highly absorbed state of vipassana in a matter of seconds now. My mind can still be thinking but I am detached and observing and I let it do what it wants: my object of meditation is the consciousness and the space it inhabits.

This is really hard to put into words but I will try. What I am experiencing might be micro-cessations. They are increasing in frequency and I just had about 4 in a 20 minute sitting, and toward the end started trying to observe them directly.

So here goes. Consciousness manifests in many ways and it just ‘is’, for lack of a better word. Some of the visualisations that come to mind are those of water, gas, and fields. Fields are the best for me.

It is like consciousness is a Calabi-Yau manifold (see below): a multidimensional ever-moving ever-revolving grid of awareness which has no centre-point.

My focus now is to find the gaps in the manifold; not so much to focus on where the manifold *is*, but where it *isn’t*. What is behind the dimension.

So I will be sat there and try to identify any kind of potential thinning of the dimensions; a place where it feels like there is nothing, and I will gently coax the dimensions of the manifold so that they converge on this non-point to try to make a singularity which will illuminate what is (or isn’t) there.

This confluence kind of blooms inward, like a flower in reverse. It will start out fairly slowly and then accelerate exponentially - slow at first, and then ever faster, over the course of a few seconds. Then it will slip over the event horizon of a black hole and collapse in on itself, reaching a momentary singularity, before blooming out to a new position similar to before but slightly changed.

It’s like one of those winamp visualisations back in the day. You know the ones. Or windows media player. The ones I used to spend hours watching while listening to trance music.

So there’s a kind of event horizon, where the dimensions of consciousness rapidly fold in on themselves and suddenly - blip (oops I used the word) - they bloom back out, with me having a minor full-body shudder as they do.

And that is all. I don’t really have much more to say about it. It’s a nothingness, or a confluence, or a reset of the field. The field collapses and then expands in a slightly different configuration and continues its dance.

So yeah. How’s that, Mr Psychiatrist?

/jb202510010958