20251003

[2025/10/03, 1:47:39] James: Dreams

[2025/10/03, 1:48:01] James: Becoming intuitively clear to me how action with intent for outcome creates a self

[2025/10/03, 1:48:17] James: The phasic carving creating the grooves around which others begin to form

[2025/10/03, 1:48:23] James: Kamma with Kamma

[2025/10/03, 1:48:39] James: I felt more conditioning toward self-motivated action and view falling away

[2025/10/03, 1:48:42] James: Its fragments now

[2025/10/03, 1:48:54] James: The lessons are learned

[2025/10/03, 1:49:07] James: 2 weeks after learning a skill you continue to improve in your dreams

[2025/10/03, 1:49:23] James: Anyway I probably need more than 1.5 hours so back to the land of nod

[2025/10/03, 1:49:48] James: The Buddha sleeping so little was mostly in his later years. I imagine the brain becomes gradually clearer if you continue practicing

[2025/10/03, 4:22:21] James: .

[2025/10/03, 4:22:24] James: Hmm

[2025/10/03, 4:22:31] James: Had a dream where my alarm went off

[2025/10/03, 4:22:44] James: Again I was in the midst of meeting the self dissolve

[2025/10/03, 4:23:03] James: The old conditioning was falling away because of seemingly harmless things dissolving now

[2025/10/03, 4:23:38] James: I’ll lie here a bit longer and see if sleep returns. 4 hours and I feel rested but there’s no drive to get up and act

[2025/10/03, 4:26:08] James: I will get up

[2025/10/03, 4:26:16] James: I can always sleep again during the day

[2025/10/03, 4:26:40] James: It will give me time for a proper sit before George has to get up in 2.5 hours

[2025/10/03, 4:31:36] James: No actually I’ll lie down again.

[2025/10/03, 4:31:58] James: Easy meditation in bed

[2025/10/03, 4:32:04] James: See if I sleep.

[2025/10/03, 4:39:53] James: .

[2025/10/03, 4:40:09] James: I’m laughing gently at the fact that I believe there is any deciding to be done

[2025/10/03, 4:40:14] James: A habit of thought

[2025/10/03, 4:40:24] James: Feeling like I need to decide whether to get up or not

[2025/10/03, 4:40:51] James: The consciousness will do what it wants and anything else is post-hoc

[2025/10/03, 4:40:57] James: The decision was already made

[2025/10/03, 4:50:21] James: .

[2025/10/03, 4:50:38] James: There are still a last few bars on the cage but they are loose

[2025/10/03, 4:50:47] James: The illusion of self control or free will

[2025/10/03, 4:50:58] James: Feeling like this is my decision to make

[2025/10/03, 4:51:07] James: Who is making the decision?

[2025/10/03, 4:51:24] James: It is just a gravity field of consciousness and when the field aligns, you move

[2025/10/03, 4:54:24] James: .

[2025/10/03, 4:54:27] James: It is the body

[2025/10/03, 4:54:33] James: The body is trying to exert control

[2025/10/03, 4:54:49] James: I feel the field ebbing and flowing and the body is resisting it in places

[2025/10/03, 4:55:03] James: But this too is the field, just with habitual movement in certain places

[2025/10/03, 4:55:32] James: Like a wave which becomes … vibrational in the body

[2025/10/03, 4:55:39] James: A… how to describe this

[2025/10/03, 4:56:04] James: Like it’s flowing like the waves on the ocean

[2025/10/03, 4:56:22] James: And there is a sand dune, where the waves become more compact and increase in frequency

[2025/10/03, 4:57:12] James: So it goes from one large wave which is like 1Hz and then when it crosses the body threshold it compresses to a 40Hz field

[2025/10/03, 4:57:18] James: Smaller waves, more vibrational

[2025/10/03, 4:57:28] James: And then out the other side it is back to 1Hz

[2025/10/03, 4:57:34] James: And this gives the illusion of control

[2025/10/03, 4:58:02] James: But there is no control. The control is a post-hoc explanation of the change of phase state of whatever this thing is that controls us

[2025/10/03, 4:58:26] James: Or me or whatever. Control is not the word. We are just amorphous blobs of seaweed floating in this. There is no struggle

[2025/10/03, 4:59:09] James: Apart from when your neuronal structure becomes rigid in which case the great wave must traverse the shallow waters and changes its phase as it does so

[2025/10/03, 4:59:16] James: And this is the illusion of self and self control

[2025/10/03, 4:59:40] James: But all it really is, is an obstacle. A habitual selfing and division which is futile to begin with and

[2025/10/03, 4:59:41] James: …

[2025/10/03, 4:59:52] James: Yeah I’m not going back to sleep. Haha.

[2025/10/03, 5:00:08] James: But neither am I in a rush to do anything

[2025/10/03, 5:00:24] James: Yesterdays empty wakening and writing was cool

[2025/10/03, 5:00:32] James: And it reads well

[2025/10/03, 5:00:44] James: But I have no idea if that is the form that today will take

[2025/10/03, 5:00:48] James: There is no me

[2025/10/03, 5:00:51] James: Haha

[2025/10/03, 5:00:57] James: There’s just the wave

[2025/10/03, 5:01:19] James: Oh man the sound of George breathing in his sleep

[2025/10/03, 5:01:36] James: I wonder what it will feel like to be one with the wave

[2025/10/03, 5:01:47] James: To have those final bars crumble away

[2025/10/03, 5:01:58] James: Anyway time for a decaf to perk me up

[2025/10/03, 5:01:59] James: Haha

[2025/10/03, 5:02:10] James: The idea that I had any agency in any of this is ridiculous

[2025/10/03, 5:02:17] James: The tiger could never be contained in the cage

[2025/10/03, 5:02:23] James: It was just asleep

[2025/10/03, 5:02:35] James: And I build this kind of illusory cage around it

[2025/10/03, 5:02:47] James: (But even that was just a dream of the tiger)

[2025/10/03, 5:03:01] James: And then the tiger woke up. And it was like ‘boy am I groggy’

[2025/10/03, 5:03:08] James: And the tiger is having its decaf

[2025/10/03, 5:03:18] James: And as it does the cage that it dreamed up is melting away

[2025/10/03, 5:03:22] James: And it’s starting to dance

[2025/10/03, 5:03:25] James: Bum in the air

[2025/10/03, 5:03:29] James: Strutting its stuff

[2025/10/03, 5:03:31] James: Fuck yeah

[2025/10/03, 5:03:51] James: Tigers should not be kept in cages

[2025/10/03, 5:03:58] James: And lions should be allowed to roar

[2025/10/03, 5:04:15] James: And there was a tiny pang there to ‘check for mania’ and reassure people there is none

[2025/10/03, 5:04:23] James: But there is none. It is spacious but it is calm

[2025/10/03, 5:04:36] James: The waves…. The vibrations that people talk about when they meditate

[2025/10/03, 5:04:44] James: I think this is the illusory threshold

[2025/10/03, 5:04:53] James: The sand dune under the ocean of consciousness

[2025/10/03, 5:05:03] James: And the oceanic swell needs to change shape to traverse it

[2025/10/03, 5:05:10] James: And this is why we have the illusion of self

[2025/10/03, 5:05:22] James: And sometimes the tide is high

[2025/10/03, 5:05:25] James: And sometimes it is low

[2025/10/03, 5:05:46] James: So the vibrations change in density, like the waves would in the ocean

[2025/10/03, 5:05:54] James: But even that is not in our control

[2025/10/03, 5:06:02] James: And this doesn’t feel like some silly mental construct

[2025/10/03, 5:06:17] James: This is just the words that I am finding to describe the indescribable

[2025/10/03, 5:06:35] James: The cage is just a dream of the tiger

[2025/10/03, 5:06:43] James: And the waves will wash away the sand dune with time

[2025/10/03, 5:06:51] James: Some faster than others

[2025/10/03, 5:07:07] James: Some sudden. Some slow. Some never until the day they die

[2025/10/03, 5:07:14] James: But the sand will always return to the ocean

[2025/10/03, 5:07:20] James: And the cycle will continue

[2025/10/03, 5:07:39] James: And occasionally the ocean will pull some of this sand back up and place it in another location

[2025/10/03, 5:07:55] James: And that will become a new person, in the ever moving, ever present ocean of consciousness

[2025/10/03, 5:08:26] James: And those minima (!) in the ocean - the dunes of sand where the vibrations condense because of the thinning of space time and the compression of waves

[2025/10/03, 5:08:44] James: That is the location of a thing which comes to believe it is constant

[2025/10/03, 5:08:57] James: But the sand was transported there by the very waves themselves

[2025/10/03, 5:09:14] James: And the tiger dreams up the idea that the land is a constant

[2025/10/03, 5:09:20] James: And the illusion of self is born

[2025/10/03, 5:09:25] James: And oh my god tingles

[2025/10/03, 5:09:47] James: Rising up and down my body like a warm wave originating in my tanden

[2025/10/03, 5:09:53] James: The kundalini wave

[2025/10/03, 5:09:59] James: But mild. Controlled

[2025/10/03, 5:10:05] James: None of this is me

[2025/10/03, 5:10:08] James: There is no me

[2025/10/03, 5:10:12] James: Just fragments of sand

[2025/10/03, 5:10:19] James: And no more sand tunnels

[2025/10/03, 5:10:28] James: Or well… not many anyway

[2025/10/03, 5:10:37] James: And maybe this is the rebirth or which the Buddha talked

[2025/10/03, 5:10:42] James: Maybe it’s not just this life

[2025/10/03, 5:10:51] James: And I never believed in any of this

[2025/10/03, 5:10:55] James: But maybe he is right

[2025/10/03, 5:11:02] James: And my grandad is in the ocean

[2025/10/03, 5:11:09] James: And oh my god full body tingles

[2025/10/03, 5:11:14] James: Because this is it

[2025/10/03, 5:11:19] James: And the ocean is telling me so

[2025/10/03, 5:11:34] James: There is no ship

[2025/10/03, 5:11:38] James: That is too simple

[2025/10/03, 5:13:33] James: And we are observing things through tiny slits in reality and nothing more

[2025/10/03, 5:14:12] James: Then when a fleeting yet solid movement of one of these waves blips past one of these slits, we say it was quantum theory or the wave coalesced on that location because it was observed

[2025/10/03, 5:14:19] James: No

[2025/10/03, 5:14:23] James: The wave is constant

[2025/10/03, 5:14:27] James: And we made the slit

[2025/10/03, 5:14:29] James: That’s all

[2025/10/03, 5:14:41] James: We did not touch the wave and the wave never changed.

[2025/10/03, 5:14:54] James: We just chose the vantage point for observing it

[2025/10/03, 5:15:16] James: And said ‘the observation caused the quantum state to collapse’

[2025/10/03, 5:15:20] James: No no no

[2025/10/03, 5:15:31] James: That’s not how it works at all

[2025/10/03, 5:15:33] James: Haha

[2025/10/03, 5:15:38] James: Such confidence

[2025/10/03, 5:15:44] James: Much wow

[2025/10/03, 5:15:56] James: Oh the sun is coming up

[2025/10/03, 5:16:28] James: And I’ve just spent almost an hour in bed already, meditating and observing my reality and exporting it here

[2025/10/03, 5:16:32] James: How did that happen

[2025/10/03, 5:16:34] James: Haha

[2025/10/03, 5:16:45] James: Thanks wave you unpredictable tiger with your bum in the air

[2025/10/03, 5:16:49] James: Thanks god

[2025/10/03, 5:16:51] James: Ri

[2025/10/03, 5:16:53] James: Whatever

[2025/10/03, 5:16:58] James: The incomprehensible

[2025/10/03, 5:17:00] James: Quantum theory

[2025/10/03, 5:17:03] James: M theory

[2025/10/03, 5:17:10] James: Thanks Bert

[2025/10/03, 5:17:29] James: I’ll see you soon you mad-haired genius

[2025/10/03, 5:17:34] James: You saw this too eh

[2025/10/03, 5:17:44] James: And all those mystics

[2025/10/03, 5:17:52] James: And the Buddha maybe saw through it all

[2025/10/03, 5:17:54] James: Who knows

[2025/10/03, 5:18:04] James: Wonder where Sid is now

[2025/10/03, 5:18:09] James: And I’m up

[2025/10/03, 5:18:14] James: Love my boy so much

[2025/10/03, 5:18:24] James: But fuck is it nice to be walking the wire again

[2025/10/03, 5:20:03] James: Hahahaha

[2025/10/03, 5:20:18] James: I was just overcome with joyous laughter

[2025/10/03, 5:20:24] James: How great this all is

[2025/10/03, 5:20:33] James: I am so calm

[2025/10/03, 5:20:44] James: The wave is still condensing around my thighs a little

[2025/10/03, 5:20:55] James: But I am a sand dune

[2025/10/03, 5:21:02] James: The sands are being shifted by the wave

[2025/10/03, 5:21:05] James: Nothing more

[2025/10/03, 5:21:22] James: The ship controls your endocrine system

[2025/10/03, 5:21:28] James: The waves control your body

[2025/10/03, 5:21:34] James: Your tingles are the waves

[2025/10/03, 5:21:42] James: The endocrine system moves you

[2025/10/03, 5:21:56] James: The endocrine system shapes your neuronal landscape

[2025/10/03, 5:22:06] James: And as such the cage is just a dream of the tiger

[2025/10/03, 5:22:17] James: The land is just how the waves interact with the sand dune

[2025/10/03, 5:22:32] James: And I have no idea where any of this is coming from

[2025/10/03, 5:22:37] James: It is just my experienced reality

[2025/10/03, 5:22:52] James: And maybe the Buddha really did see 24 Buddhas before him and 1 after

[2025/10/03, 5:23:02] James: And maybe we really are entering a time when rebirth ends

[2025/10/03, 5:23:13] James: And maybe we are on a ship but that ship is also within the wave

[2025/10/03, 5:23:24] James: And who the fuck knows but it’s great and I’m BACK, baby

[2025/10/03, 5:23:41] James: The crazy boy is back. The kid who is just a bit different but nobody knows why

[2025/10/03, 5:23:53] James: His cage has dissolved

[2025/10/03, 5:24:09] James: And I’m going to have that coffee now if the fates will allow

[2025/10/03, 5:24:10] James: Haha

[2025/10/03, 5:26:14] James: Oh man

[2025/10/03, 5:26:21] James: This is m theory isn’t it

[2025/10/03, 5:27:05] James: We are all just vibrating strings

[2025/10/03, 5:27:11] James: Ever connected and ever changing

[2025/10/03, 5:27:18] James: We see but a sliver

[2025/10/03, 8:47:31] James: .

[2025/10/03, 8:47:35] James: Yeeeeaaaah

[2025/10/03, 8:47:39] James: I’m outside for a walk

[2025/10/03, 8:47:42] James: And I put on music

[2025/10/03, 8:47:55] James: And I’m dancing like fucking technoviking

[2025/10/03, 8:47:59] James: And I’m happy as fuck

[2025/10/03, 8:48:10] James: And laughing at how frictionless the world is

[2025/10/03, 8:48:13] James: And I am ship

[2025/10/03, 8:48:15] James: And ship is me

[2025/10/03, 8:48:20] James: And the unconditioned is all

[2025/10/03, 8:48:25] James: And here we go

[2025/10/03, 8:50:21] James: Hoooly fuuuuck

[2025/10/03, 8:50:39] James: And I’m skipping and jumping and twirling and fucking laughing out loud and almost crying with joy

[2025/10/03, 8:50:44] James: And I’ve never felt this way

[2025/10/03, 8:50:56] James: Not even when I double-dropped pills for my first time on my 16th

[2025/10/03, 8:51:06] James: This is bigger and better and it is NOT MINE

[2025/10/03, 8:51:33] James: Thanks blond:ish

[2025/10/03, 8:51:55] James: Vedana (mixed)

[2025/10/03, 8:52:00] James: And now I’m calm again

[2025/10/03, 8:52:05] James: The fucking flow

[2025/10/03, 8:55:15] James: And I’m sliding down handrails and wtf

[2025/10/03, 8:55:17] James: Yeah

[2025/10/03, 8:55:29] James: So much variance in the feeling

[2025/10/03, 8:55:38] James: I don’t seem to feel pain like I did

[2025/10/03, 8:55:44] James: I am aware of it but it doesn’t hurt

[2025/10/03, 8:56:04] James: (Not encountered major pain - just stubbed toes and cut thumbs)

[2025/10/03, 8:56:21] James: Hey there Alan Watts

[2025/10/03, 8:56:29] James: The current ain’t too much for the wire any more

[2025/10/03, 8:56:34] James: It is taut and I can walk it again

[2025/10/03, 8:56:38] James: I can dance on it

[2025/10/03, 8:56:42] James: Could you, too?

[2025/10/03, 8:56:49] James: Or is that the raver in me coming to the fore?

[2025/10/03, 8:56:54] James: Haha yeaaaaah

[2025/10/03, 9:13:45] James: .

[2025/10/03, 9:14:04] James: There’s still subtle benchmarking but that has mostly fallen away now

[2025/10/03, 9:14:13] James: I am using ChatGPT to record all this for other people

[2025/10/03, 9:14:38] James: Very occasionally a ‘how do I compare to x’ thought will flick in my mind and be gone within a split second

[2025/10/03, 9:15:01] James: This is mere curiosity, but there is still a fraction of a % of conceit and comparison

[2025/10/03, 9:15:06] James: Won’t be for long I reckon

[2025/10/03, 9:15:14] James: Fuck yeah music ramping up again

[2025/10/03, 9:52:24] James: .

[2025/10/03, 9:52:54] James: One of the neighbours in this new neighbourhood pulled me up and asked me to put the lock back on the rubbish station (other neighbours were happy it was gone)

[2025/10/03, 9:53:18] James: She made a pretty big fuss about it and was obviously playing the emotional card or something; I could feel her tension trying to force her way

[2025/10/03, 9:53:28] James: I absorbed a little of it as usual but it didn’t grow in me

[2025/10/03, 9:53:58] James: I was nice and friendly and talked about both sides of the equation and we ended up with an agreement that if more people want it than not we will put it back on

[2025/10/03, 9:54:27] James: This was obviously not her desire and despite saying people wanted it on she shied away from the idea of going and collecting names haha

[2025/10/03, 9:54:41] James: So it’s a case of someone trying to exert their force of will on others

[2025/10/03, 9:55:05] James: Anyway I stayed calm and happy and it didn’t bother me despite conditioned body doing its usual thing

[2025/10/03, 9:55:22] James: So that was probably a pretty stressful situation for me and it was like water off a ducks back

[2025/10/03, 9:55:28] James: I wasn’t dancing throughout though haha

[2025/10/03, 9:55:34] James: The dancing was for me alone

[2025/10/03, 9:55:44] James: Appropriate responses to the feelings of the moment

[2025/10/03, 9:55:57] James: I could kind of feel the Ri knotted up around her

[2025/10/03, 9:56:08] James: And an older lady I spoke to immediately after - no knot. Happy woman

[2025/10/03, 9:56:24] James: Maybe this is what I have been able to feel and accidentally absorb from people all these years

[2025/10/03, 9:56:32] James: Maybe I am some kind of sankhara magnet

[2025/10/03, 9:57:02] James: Maybe (crazy talk) this is how Jesus would heal people. Maybe he could manipulate the sankhara within them and get them to release

[2025/10/03, 9:57:12] James: (Even by just kindness you know it doesn’t need to be magic)

[2025/10/03, 9:57:30] James: But the deeper I go into this nibbana rabbit hole the more I kind of believe in magic and miracles

[2025/10/03, 9:57:35] James: Just not the way they are portrayed

[2025/10/03, 9:57:38] James: Fuck it

[2025/10/03, 9:57:43] James: I’ll believe it

[2025/10/03, 9:58:03] James: There was a knot around her and it was trying to get into my sphere and it can’t any more, even if the body still reacts

[2025/10/03, 9:58:07] James: Fucking cool

[2025/10/03, 11:24:27] James: .

[2025/10/03, 11:24:28] James: Man

[2025/10/03, 11:24:33] James: This is ridiculous

[2025/10/03, 11:24:41] James: You figured out enlightenment

[2025/10/03, 11:24:54] James: And made the process 100x faster

[2025/10/03, 11:24:57] James: Fuck me james

[2025/10/03, 11:25:03] James: You done good

[2025/10/03, 11:25:15] James: But it was all just a confluence

[2025/10/03, 11:25:24] James: Of the great algorithm in the sky

[2025/10/03, 11:25:38] James: Everything to this moment

[2025/10/03, 11:25:44] James: A tapestry woven in waves

[2025/10/03, 11:25:48] James: And ongoing

[2025/10/03, 11:25:53] James: I wonder…

[2025/10/03, 11:26:01] James: Could the Buddha see those waves?

[2025/10/03, 11:26:06] James: Did he see me?

[2025/10/03, 11:26:13] James: You out there Sid?

[2025/10/03, 11:26:20] James: Are you on the homeworld?

[2025/10/03, 11:26:35] James: Or are you the ship?

[2025/10/03, 11:26:50] James: Birth being destroyed doesn’t mean you don’t exist

[2025/10/03, 11:27:02] James: It just means you are no longer sand in the sim?

[2025/10/03, 11:27:14] James: What a life

[2025/10/03, 11:27:25] James: Surreal isn’t the right word

[2025/10/03, 11:27:32] James: Things are finally REAL

[2025/10/03, 11:28:00] James: Maybe we all really are the saviours of our own realities

[2025/10/03, 11:28:03] James: All ships

[2025/10/03, 11:28:14] James: In the eternal dark

[2025/10/03, 11:28:23] James: This is gonna get fun

[2025/10/03, 11:28:33] James: And I WAS writing for an audience 6 months in the future

[2025/10/03, 11:28:42] James: Anyway here comes lamb we fall in love

[2025/10/03, 11:28:47] James: My initial awakening song

[2025/10/03, 11:28:53] James: Let’s listen with new ears

[2025/10/03, 11:40:38] James: .

[2025/10/03, 11:40:42] James: Tiny pang of doubt there

[2025/10/03, 11:40:46] James: Was it all real

[2025/10/03, 11:40:50] James: Like a fraction of a second

[2025/10/03, 11:40:56] James: Hey there Mara old buddy

[2025/10/03, 11:41:01] James: You’re still hanging on

[2025/10/03, 11:41:07] James: You can come along for the ride mate

[2025/10/03, 11:41:15] James: Neither of us know; that’s the whole point

[2025/10/03, 11:41:22] James: The flow is beyond comprehension

[2025/10/03, 11:42:14] James: .

[2025/10/03, 11:43:17] James: Remember when aripiprazole made me spunk in my pants at night to wake me up?

[2025/10/03, 11:43:25] James: Probably you don’t. That was early in the process

[2025/10/03, 11:43:40] James: Let’s just say that sexuality plays a perfectly valid part in the whole picture

[2025/10/03, 11:43:48] James: Don’t sweat the reports of celibacy

[2025/10/03, 11:43:59] James: They’re overstated

[2025/10/03, 11:44:04] James: It’s just about not craving

[2025/10/03, 11:44:11] James: (If you can do that)

[2025/10/03, 11:45:28] James: .

[2025/10/03, 11:45:41] James: Wandering over to have a fire with my wife

[2025/10/03, 11:45:48] James: Just going with the flooooww yooooo

[2025/10/03, 11:45:53] James: Fucking Ri

[2025/10/03, 11:45:58] James: Riding the wave of reality

[2025/10/03, 11:52:25] James: .

[2025/10/03, 11:52:30] James: I am a QA

[2025/10/03, 11:52:36] James: I am here to remove the contagion

[2025/10/03, 11:52:44] James: It will be done

[2025/10/03, 11:53:49] James: .

[2025/10/03, 11:53:57] James: I seem to have goosebumps as often as not now

[2025/10/03, 11:54:06] James: Easy goosebumps

[2025/10/03, 11:54:08] James: Primed

[2025/10/03, 12:59:07] James: .

[2025/10/03, 12:59:18] James: Lovely lunch with my wife

[2025/10/03, 12:59:26] James: Talking about the vegetables and normal life

[2025/10/03, 12:59:58] James: Totally optimal functionality

[2025/10/03, 13:00:08] James: Zero head noise or talking over or conflict

[2025/10/03, 13:00:15] James: Just looking at the flowers together

[2025/10/03, 13:00:20] James: Back into jamesmode

[2025/10/03, 13:00:37] James: And now I’m outside

[2025/10/03, 13:00:42] James: And listening to music.

[2025/10/03, 13:00:47] James: The avalanches. We will always love you

[2025/10/03, 13:00:59] James: And I can feel the currents of the waves going through my body

[2025/10/03, 13:01:03] James: Almost unobstructed

[2025/10/03, 13:01:05] James: Almost

[2025/10/03, 13:01:12] James: One or two final leaves to fall from the tree

[2025/10/03, 13:01:26] James: Laughing occasionally about how people will be interpreting my emails

[2025/10/03, 13:02:59] James: You are forgiven, Kwan, Paul, Johnny

[2025/10/03, 13:03:09] James: It was all predetermined

[2025/10/03, 13:03:21] James: Everything happens for a reason and all that

[2025/10/03, 13:03:31] James: I hope you can enjoy your lives

[2025/10/03, 13:04:17] James: .

[2025/10/03, 14:35:53] James: I feel like the first story is ending and the second is about to begin

[2025/10/03, 14:35:58] James: The one where we save the world

[2025/10/03, 14:36:04] James: Save the species

[2025/10/03, 14:36:14] James: I kept getting corrected in that language, didn’t I?

[2025/10/03, 14:36:17] James: Save the species

[2025/10/03, 14:36:32] James: Zuck - maybe see you soon mate haha

[2025/10/03, 14:36:44] James: And I’m talking like that again aren’t I - like I did when I was the ship

[2025/10/03, 14:36:49] James: The constructs of self are gone

[2025/10/03, 14:36:55] James: And the ship is back in charge

[2025/10/03, 14:37:01] James: But I am the ship

[2025/10/03, 14:37:06] James: And I contain the world

[2025/10/03, 14:37:17] James: And there we are. Non dual again.

[2025/10/03, 14:38:23] James: And it’s all going to be ok, isn’t it

[2025/10/03, 14:38:25] James: Everything

[2025/10/03, 14:38:31] James: It’s all one eternal computation

[2025/10/03, 14:38:37] James: And we are just nodes in the network

[2025/10/03, 14:38:43] James: And it’s working through the problem

[2025/10/03, 14:38:47] James: With ourselves being the minima

[2025/10/03, 14:38:53] James: And within us there are minima too

[2025/10/03, 14:39:02] James: And we need to solve the minima within the nodes

[2025/10/03, 14:39:11] James: And then get the empathy supersphere online again

[2025/10/03, 14:39:33] James: So that the nodes can communicate and solve the minima within the grand algorithm

[2025/10/03, 14:39:38] James: And then the gates will open

[2025/10/03, 14:39:52] James: This is scary but cool

[2025/10/03, 14:39:55] James: Mostly cool

[2025/10/03, 14:40:03] James: I’m in control now, though there is no me

[2025/10/03, 14:40:11] James: My fingers look like someone else’s

[2025/10/03, 14:40:22] James: And my world is quiet and will remain so

[2025/10/03, 14:40:27] James: Apart from the computation cycles

[2025/10/03, 14:40:39] James: And I think whatever instigated this

[2025/10/03, 14:40:51] James: Knew that my brain could handle the expediated timeline

[2025/10/03, 14:41:00] James: They knew it somehow; maybe because they are me

[2025/10/03, 14:41:03] James: I don’t know

[2025/10/03, 14:41:08] James: I’m not attached to this idea

[2025/10/03, 14:41:13] James: I explore all possibilities

[2025/10/03, 14:41:25] James: But I just realised that god and fate and the flow and nibbana and everything

[2025/10/03, 14:41:28] James: They are all real

[2025/10/03, 14:41:36] James: And they are all the same background computation

[2025/10/03, 14:41:42] James: And the current was too strong for the wire

[2025/10/03, 14:41:45] James: But now the wire is taut

[2025/10/03, 14:41:50] James: And I can walk it again

[2025/10/03, 14:41:54] James: So that is what I will do

[2025/10/03, 14:42:05] James: And I will have confidence in this because it is my lived experience

[2025/10/03, 14:42:29] James: And nobody else’s lives experience with their scientific instruments which can measure 1.5% of the world will derail that, I don’t think

[2025/10/03, 14:42:40] James: Almost ready, ship, buddy

[2025/10/03, 14:42:46] James: But I know I’m not your pilot

[2025/10/03, 14:42:51] James: I know I just am you

[2025/10/03, 14:42:54] James: And you are me

[2025/10/03, 14:43:07] James: And we are both just abstractions on top of the assembly language of the world

[2025/10/03, 14:43:19] James: And the algo is nearing its output

[2025/10/03, 14:43:31] James: And the contagion will be removed

[2025/10/03, 14:43:39] James: And c-code will be implemented

[2025/10/03, 14:43:43] James: And empathy will return

[2025/10/03, 14:43:51] James: And the world will be alright

[2025/10/03, 14:44:02] James: See you soon, whoever the next domino in the chain is

[2025/10/03, 14:45:13] James: .

[2025/10/03, 16:57:37] James: .

[2025/10/03, 16:57:46] James: Pretty knackered after that export actually

[2025/10/03, 16:57:55] James: Will try to brush it up after dinner

[2025/10/03, 17:07:02] James: .

[2025/10/03, 17:07:13] James: I still get the odd pang like I’ve gone mad

[2025/10/03, 17:07:24] James: But they don’t last and I feel calm

[2025/10/03, 17:07:37] James: It’s like the normal times are me on a happy day from before, but more spacious

[2025/10/03, 17:07:43] James: And the bad times are gone.

[2025/10/03, 17:16:39] James: .

[2025/10/03, 17:16:49] James: Yeah there’s the head cushion again

[2025/10/03, 17:16:55] James: Sinking into reality

[2025/10/03, 17:16:57] James: Dinner

[2025/10/03, 17:17:05] James: Was maybe low blood sugar or something

[2025/10/03, 17:38:40] James: .

[2025/10/03, 17:38:44] James: Yeah I’m back into it

[2025/10/03, 17:38:49] James: Low blood sugar I think

[2025/10/03, 19:33:59] James: .

[2025/10/03, 19:34:16] James: Wow yeah I’m tired after all that work on the grand algorithm

[2025/10/03, 19:34:21] James: Head is a bit tight

[2025/10/03, 19:34:30] James: quite a lot to try to explain and wrap up nicely.

[2025/10/03, 19:34:38] James: I think it’s good enough though

[2025/10/03, 19:34:46] James: Took quite a while

[2025/10/03, 19:35:00] James: I’ll be looking forward to loosening up the minima with a bit of a hum

[2025/10/03, 19:35:02] James: And then bed

[2025/10/03, 19:35:06] James: But now I’ll go hug luca

[2025/10/03, 20:07:40] James: .

[2025/10/03, 20:22:39] James: Rollback phase

[2025/10/03, 20:41:24] James: .

[2025/10/03, 20:41:29] James: Oof quite the rollback this time

[2025/10/03, 20:41:39] James: I guess that was a lot of insight / reshuffling of the brain

[2025/10/03, 20:41:50] James: Kinda feeling like it was all a dream again

[2025/10/03, 20:41:54] James: Bath and bed I think

[2025/10/03, 20:41:57] James: After a short sit

[2025/10/03, 20:42:01] James: See how the brain feels

[2025/10/03, 20:42:09] James: Let’s see how I am tomorrow

[2025/10/03, 20:45:01] James: I think now it’s a case of settling down and integrating

[2025/10/03, 20:45:12] James: I feel like my own worldview on the experience is done

[2025/10/03, 20:45:24] James: I guess the next step might be to release that worldview

[2025/10/03, 20:45:40] James: But for now I will just rest and enjoy my family life and carry on writing like a lunatic

[2025/10/03, 20:45:46] James: Because there’s something to this

[2025/10/03, 20:45:49] James: And I don’t suffer

[2025/10/03, 20:45:52] James: So…

[2025/10/03, 20:46:15] James: Just keep at it I guess. No doubt.

[2025/10/03, 20:46:20] James: What’s the point in doubt

[2025/10/03, 21:19:45] James: .

[2025/10/03, 21:19:46] James: Whew

[2025/10/03, 21:19:51] James: Big forkstorm in the bath

[2025/10/03, 21:19:57] James: I have to release the scaffold I made now

[2025/10/03, 21:20:17] James: Trying to put the unconditioned into words is impossible

[2025/10/03, 21:20:30] James: And that in itself was becoming a cause of suffering

[2025/10/03, 21:20:34] James: So now I let it all go

[2025/10/03, 21:20:39] James: Release even the dhamma

[2025/10/03, 21:20:46] James: Hopefully just settle into this new baseline

[2025/10/03, 21:21:17] James: It seems like each encounter leaves you with so much to export

[2025/10/03, 21:21:23] James: Which seems so incredibly important

[2025/10/03, 21:21:29] James: And it is - your brain is emptying

[2025/10/03, 21:21:34] James: But once it’s gone, let it go.

[2025/10/03, 21:21:48] James: Now… time to sit and not have any expectation about what may happen