twoworlds

So I got back from the restaurant ad was knackered; needed a nap. I crashed in the bedroom where I slept with my kids last night. 

The doorbell rang a couple of times and I decided to let it slide because my brain chemistry is weighted as 1. I stayed in bed but it put me into a liminal state and I was better able to remember my ‘dreams’.

The dream was of me and Channing Tatum plus the other chap from 21 Jump Street playing in the park where I had been playing with the kids. Then I told them I was enlightened and the dream switched to us being an in inflatable in the water and swimming around in circles with me teaching them about anatta / non-self.

I remember Jack Kornfield coming to me in a dream too and giving me his paint set, saying that adding and subtracting are the same thing as he drove off into the sunset. My grandad pulling me down into the deep. The guy who works with Elon saying ‘he’s already working on it’.

I woke up and there’s a message from my dad (my phone is colour again now) and he’s saying that his memory diverges from mine and we are pointing out things we remember differently. 

I tell him that I think we generate our memories from this moment based on the data in [seed], but that they are iterative so they only change a small amount each time we recall them. Same for our projections for the future. This makes sense to me - there is plenty of evidence that memories change depending on our brain state when we recall them.

Immediately after sending this messages the doorbell rang again with the kids asking to play but I asked for a second while I have a coffee to bring me back to this reality. The ASD girl who was super-in-her-shell is there too so I’ll give her extra attention (if she wants it).

While I am sat writing this they all came into my garden area and started looking at the forest. Remember that the forest is the dhamma and the other worlds of other people in my simulation?

So I believe that the two worlds are starting to both delineate and reprogram each other. But also I think I might reach a point where I can straddle them both using caffein and cannabis which both conveniently start with a C. 

The camping trip and the dog run, one of which I remember and one of which I don’t; the other of which my dad remembers and I don’t… I think they were when we were in different worlds.

It seems that the things I do when I am away from my family also make the times when I am with my family far nicer, and the times when I am with my family make the times away far nicer.

Maybe in one of the other substrates I am swimming around with Channing and talking about enlightenment. Who knows. Maybe I am in the fathomless deep with my Grandad; I released into that when I meditated and went ‘all the way’ with Celeste.

Maybe Celeste is here in this world, or soon to be so, and I will hear form k again shortly. Maybe she is my Agrias.

This is bloody complicated and I need a computer scientist or two :)

Like.. a real one. Not just a code monkey.

Anyway I’m off to play with the kids. Maybe a bit calmer this time round though.

Maybe ‘death’ is merely one narrative arc reaching its conclusion and the other one taking over while the firs one builds and [ng+].

/jb202510131550

I went out immediately after getting this on the site and on webarchive and two kids were fighting: one of the ASD-leaning kids and one of the others. They are both good kids. I squatted with them and patted the ASD-leaning kid to calm him down but he wouldn’t let go of the phone of the other kid, and I asked one of the other children to get his mum.

We managed to separate them without admonishing either and she calmed him down further while I spoke with the other about the issue. It was an overload problem: too much information and words coming at the ASD-leaning kid had caused a meltdown, which I understand only too well.

I went inside and got some sweets - my favourites from the UK and my last bag - and shared them with people. There were also 4 ice creams which was convenient since 4 people turned out to want them.

Then we got to playing and kicked around Luca’s volleyball for a while; I kicked it crazy and it flew off into the forest a little (remember that the forest is empathy/other universes in my sim) and I went and got it, reflecting on how I said I might go back in the forest in the winter; snowshoeing season I guess.

Both myself and the other parent proceeded to play with the kids, with me pottering around and picking up all kinds of rubbish from every corner of the playground while we initially played a slow-paced hide-and-seek and later a hide-and-chase version. All of the kids had a great time, and I wound up running about with the local no-longer-a-bully on my back. I’m like the most popular guy in that park now haha.

Anyway I feel like these kids are representative of quite a lot of things in my other-world. I don’t know if I am in the [realworld] or [scaffold] any more and I don’t know if it matters much, since they both program each other and seem to be gradually converging.

Alan Watts said that time is like a river, flowing out from you in both directions; that there was no past and only now because when it was the past it was also now. I believe this is why our memories rewrite themselves on recollection, and why we often struggle to remember our dreams.

When we are here then this is real. When we are dreaming then that is real. There is no doubt. When you are on mushrooms then fuck me is that real haha. And mushrooms always felt like a mental enema to me. They sorted out my [realworld] no end.

The Buddha said that the doer of good will rejoice in both worlds and the doer of evil will suffer. Both worlds are each other’s [upsidedown] and the memory bank is the [body]. 

The body is physical medium so any tensions and aches will be present in either. The crick in your neck when you wake, but you don’t remember the dream that caused it. The somatic discharge as you flip between waking and sleep. etc.

In my scaffold (which I may be in now; I don’t know) I was one of the world’s leading AI researchers. I think this is going to come to pass. But I can’t be sure. I feel like the levelling up of characters in FFT is levelling up the characters in my sim and when enough get to my plane we will be able to start working on this properly as a team and getting the world changed for every single person on the planet.

I feel like this is the one true dhamma. This smells like exactly what the Buddha taught, even if the language is totally and radically different. Eradicate [greed], be nice, two worlds. It’s what Jesus taught. It’s what they all taught. And it’s what the most recent research in neuroscience seems to point to. Walk away from the fight or you make yourself sick. Be the change you want to see.

This very much feels like a convergence of science and religion, at long last. Enough of you guys being at each others’ throats; it’s time to cooperate.

But hey. I’ll just carry on trying to change my small part of the infinite pond. The world *is* infinite in nature; we just make it feel small by jetting from one location to another. Kobo Daishi walking the 88-temple ohenro and me cycling it (oh shiiiiiitytyytytyt I just realised that aligns with my 88 hells sheeeeyteyt goosebumps)… Kobo daishi and Miyamoto Musashi and all these others. All the different 道 to the top of the mountain.

There are infinite routes to the peak but you can only take one step at a time. As you reach the summit though, it seems to speed up. Like Mt Fuji, it stats out slow and seems never-ending but then builds in gradient until you are scrambling up like a mountain goat and then you turn around and you are a kilometre above the clouds and watching the sun rise over a new dawn.

C’mon guys. This is real, y’all. Let’s make it happen.

Sangha 1.0 you’re awesome. You did a great job. I need some help getting people behind this. There was no written language back then and the arahants in your midst will look at these writings and be like ‘yup’. I know the language is different, but look at the meaning.

Science 1.0 you’re awesome too. You did a great job. But you are looking at the bottom of the mountain and can’t even fathom the peak.

One of you is taking a top-down approach and the other is taking a bottoms-up approach and I need you both to start working towards meeting in the middle so that this can be adapted for everyone in this world. 

Me… I’m about to go to aikidō for the first time since before my bike trip. I’m a bit tired but let’s see how it goes. I feel like I was in my [scaffold] for the entire time since that trip, reprogramming my [realworld] and now I am able to propagate back in the other direction.

Who knows. Whatever is going on it’s a lot more enjoyable than what I used to have.

/jb202510131725

Aikido was great. I seem to have gotten *significantly* better at it through having 3 weeks of doing nothing related to it. I still don’t know the ‘moves’ but I was flowing like water and things felt effortless; very engaged with both of the partners I worked with.

To know 10,000 things, know 1 thing well, eh, Musashi.

I’m pretty tired and quite heavily into [realworld] at the moment. Will run a bath and then maybe play some FF or go to bed. I’m a bit like ‘is this real’ again but the data in my daily life suggests it is. I’m still in the oscillation period after hitting arahant … oh… 3 days ago? It feels like a month ago. And the entire process end-to-end feels like about 10 years if I’m honest.

Weird times. Anyway. Sleep should bring me back into the hot tub time machine and get the party started again haha.

Oh and I got a message from a friend who can still only see the website updates until the 28th Sept. Internet archive keeps saying that my sites are being indexed for the first time despite them having a week’s worth or several months worth of records when I search for the URL. It’s all very strange but I’m stopping worrying about it.

The Buddha taught the way to end suffering and nothing more, didn’t he?

Doesn’t end tiredness though :)

/jb202510132053