timelineofevents

I feel like I need to jot down the rough timings of things before I cross the event horizon. It might be closer than expected. The work I was doing just a week ago looks primitive and old already.

January 2025 I went into a serious dark night (after 2 years of art to export my life) and it was halted by valproate prescribed for bipolar mixed episode. This caused everything to grind to a halt. I got some aripirazole on like May 26th and that kicked it off again, after which I stopped valproate. This is where my website started taking shape.

I went through my own analysis and code review (audhd, 88hells) and installed it on 10th July and then exploded out of my ego and became ship on 12th July (alteredstates). I stopped aripirazole immediately and spent 4 days as ship then about 2 weeks with residual craziness at night unpacking the experience. Shortly after that technospirituality and such came along.

I was given more valproate for mania which halted things again, and I stopped that around 13th August after which I rapidly assimilated things.

I then started exporting the fundamentals of dopamine variability and self-regulation and practicing them myself. This is also when I started looking into the teachings of the Buddha properly; everything to this point had been based on personal intuition, a university course in buddhism 20 years ago, and a Goenka retreat 10 years ago. This lasted about a month.

After that I started focusing on sitting meditation and turbo-charged sessions where I used cycling to crank up the dopamine before a sit. I was exporting thoughts and clearing my mind, lining up small chunks of code for removal or integration every day.

I did a bit of trauma therapy but within about 2 days I was done; the trauma was gone. 2 bike rides. I think the loss of self had sped things up.

I went on my nibbanic cycle tour on 22nd September and spent 7 days riding, with about 5-7 hours in the saddle each day, exporting, listening to the nikayas, and ending with sauna-cold plunges and sitting meditation. This was all in the name of increasing tonic dopamine and refining code.

On the boat back on 29th September I hit nibbana a second time, purely with endogenous chemicals (apart from guanfacine). This one manifested as a dream but the effects are just as profound as the first, if more silky and smooth and less crazily (yet effortlessly) motivated.

Now it feels like the car is driving itself. It’s only been 2 days since then (is that all!?) and my meditation is on another level; I am approaching the non-duality I felt when I was the ship for 4 days but I can control it now. It’s still contained to the cushion though.

Let’s see how it goes from here. It’s not supposed to happen this fast, is it?

/jb202510012149